Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. The combination of the beautiful fall landscape, family, friends, football, and an amazing feast always makes for a great day. Even though it’s a day I always look forward to, the excitement surrounding Thanksgiving break during your freshman year of college is pretty much unparalleled. You can’t wait to sleep in your own bed, shower without flip flops, spend time with your family, and (of course) see your high school friends. The last point can sometimes prove to be a little trickier than it may seem. So, I’m here to guide you, current freshmen, through the process of reuniting with your old besties over the holidays.
High school friends will always hold an incredibly special place in your heart. Since you came of age together, parts of them are parts of you, and vice versa. While this special bond may lead you to think that you will always be 100% honest with your high school friends, sometimes that falls through. When you’re finally all reunited for the first time, sometimes there’s a pressure to say that you’re doing well and you love your college experience, even if that’s not the case.
I’m not sure where this “need to seem like you have college sorted out by Thanksgiving break” idea really comes from, but I do know it’s something that’s not just exclusive to my experience. At this point in freshman year, a lot of people are still in a weird sort of “No Man’s Land” of friendship that I like to refer to as “The Going Out Friends.” Yes, you have friends, but they don’t really know the real you. You haven’t had the opportunity to be really vulnerable with them (because who has the chance to do that within two months of knowing each other?). I promise, these “going out friends” will become truly good friends in time, and if you’re not there yet, that’s okay.
If your friends start to talk about how obsessed they are with their college and how they found their “soul sister” (after eight weeks?), do not stress. In my experience, when someone first brings up the concept of being obsessed with freshman year, it can create a frenzy in which people feel the need to one up one another. If you’re really just not that into your school yet, my advice is to voice that opinion to your friends because I guarantee at least one of them feels the same way. When you’re able to be honest about not loving freshman year yet, it creates a much more authentic conversation, and in that way can really feel like your old friend group is connected again.
All of this isn’t to say you shouldn’t like freshman year by Thanksgiving break. If you’re happy and excited about Brown this early on, that’s amazing! This article is for those of you who may not love it yet. I’m here to say that that’s normal, and I’m sure you’ll grow to love it in time.