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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Broward chapter.

Mom, believe it or not your daughter will listen to you best when she understands YOUR heart,. Sharing our experiences in our younger years may be hardest to do, but it will be the most impacting for your daughter.

The Facts:

  • 2% of teens have sex by age 12.
  • 16% of teens have sex by age 15.
  • 33% of teens have sex by age 16.
  • 48% of teens have sex by age 17.
  • 61% of teens have sex by age 18.
  • 71% of teens have sex by age 19.

Think Back:

  • What type of messages about attracting guys, getting guys, and having sex did you receive?
  • How did these messages affect you?
  • Did you feel you weren’t complete without a boyfriend?
  • What do you wish you would have known about guys and sex when you were younger?

How to Have “the Talk”:

  1. Take time to go over these statics with your daughter. Ask her what she sees at school and in the media.
  2. Ask your daughter about her own search for intimacy. Ask, “Where are the hotels in your heart?”
  3. Talk about bonding wth other person: “True intimacy is made possible by the use of relationship skills and not as a result of sex drives.” Ask, ” what are other ways to connect other than sex.”
  4. Ask your daughter about the pressures she feels. Talk about an “escape plan” when she feels these pressures.
  5. Finally, take time to share about your own experiences:
  • What type of messages about attracting guys, getting guys, and having sex did you receive.
  • How did these messages affect you?
  • Did you feel you weren’t complete without a boyfriend?
  • What do you wish you would have known about guys and sex when you were younger?

Don’t make this a one – time conversation. Let your daughter know that she can come to you any time. Because a safe place for your daughter to talk about what she hears, what she sees, and how she feels. 

Let her know that it’s uncomfortable for you, too, but you can work through all her questions together. And know that sharing your heart will have a positive impact that your daughter will carry with her through all life’s challenges. 

 

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Tiffany Joseph

Broward '20

I'm Miss. Congeniality of Broward College North Campus, Events Coordinator of the Psychology Club at Broward College North Campus, new president of Her Campus Broward, I work for Student Services at Broward College North Campus, and I just like to get involved in many great activities that benefit my personal growth.
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Student at Broward College for the past five years, first enrolled on Davie's Central Campus learning Physical Therapy for two years than, transferring to Coconut Creeks North campus for the last three years, now majoring in Early Childhood / Developmental Education. Spent first year with Her campus Broward as Outreach Director, former president of self-entitled campus friendship club, Sammy's Buddy Brigade, member of the Campus Science Club, and a Broward County local student Ambassador with Best Buddies International. Winner of the Sammy's award for most charity work within the community, and now Vice President of Her Campus Broward. I hope to soon be working at Junior Achievement with the elementary and middle school children, in order to have a well rounded experience! The hope is to one day work with and teach children who have special needs such as myself! Biggest belief and philosophy of life is that, no matter what anyone says you can't accomplish in life, I am living proof that anything is possible! Having ADHD, high functioning Autism, and medical conditions such as Scoliosis, helps me to understand special needs children on a level that very few people can! It is this very knowledge that led me to choose Teaching as my chosen profession. Now at age 42, and more than 55% on the way to getting an Associate of Arts degree in Early Childhood Education, I hope to become an Assistant Teacher within the next year or so. We hope that this true life story will inspire others to never give up either, no matter what anybody says, or tells you, that you can't do, the only one who can truly hold you back is "YOU".