Content warning: disordered eating and dieting
We all want to have the “perfect body” because we’ve been conditioned into thinking that it will make us happy but does it really? I’ve fallen into the traps of fad diets and calorie counting which led to years of disordered eating because the words “you’ve lost weight” were music to my ears.
I obsessed over every single piece of food I put in my body and punished myself if I overate. Carbs and sugars were a big NO because I thought they’d make me fat overnight and eating low-calorie salads for lunch and dinner was what I considered to be the epitome of being healthy. I thought about food and what I’ll eat next all the time but made sure I didn’t go over the calorie limit set by an app that didn’t know me or my body.
I was over-exercising and constantly irritated and lethargic and didn’t understand why because I thought I was being healthy and taking care of myself but really it was just an obsession to have defined abs like the model on a health magazine.
I didn’t notice how severely my habits were impacting me mentally and paid no heed to the loss of my period and how it could affect my health in the long run.
What I didn’t realize was what we see on social media is the highlight reel of people’s lives, the best versions of themselves and that the fitness influencer I idolized had rolls on her stomach just like I did, and her thigh gap and perfect butt were the results of photoshop.
I now exercise to be happy, healthy and strong. I eat a salad for lunch and a donut right after because I’ve learned to find balance and that being healthy is not only the food I put in my body but also my mindset towards it.
I now know that there is no point in keeping up with the unrealistic beauty ideal set by the media and there is absolutely no need for us to rip ourselves apart for just being different. Nobody walks around looking like their pictures because it’s just not realistic and amazing things can happen when you begin to love yourself in the moment instead of striving for something that isn’t even attainable.