Accepted shines in bold letters when you realize you go to university for the first time. Many people will tell you that these are the best years of your life, but in my experience you have learned so much about yourself in these years. At 18, you think that you know everything about yourself and I had that same belief, I honestly can’t believe how wrong I was. No only did I have minimal knowledge about my identity, I also didn’t realize how my time in university would be transformative not only in the academic realm of my life, but also the way that I see and describe myself.Â
Within that first year of university, you see the impact of living alone for the first time. You are away from your caretakers and you have to realize how to live independently. You need to learn to cook for yourself, how to budget for yourself, and your nonnegotiables for living. For example, in my freshman year at the University of South Carolina, I realized how important it was for me to have a whiteboard or a planning method. This may seem insignificant, but I realized how my brain needed the constant reminders and the satisfaction of checking things off my to-do list to feel productive with my day. I was used to being told by my mother when I had a doctor’s appointment or the same question on a daily basis, “did you do your homework?” This experience taught me the value of finding a time management system that works best for me.Â
While this experience in freshman year was transformative, I realized I noticed the most about myself in the years following. In the U.S., it’s very common to live with a roommate or share living spaces with other people, but it was when I lived alone for the first time that I had to sit with myself and notice what I prioritize when it came to living, management, social aspects, and more. These years I had to learn how to entertain myself and how to enjoy time alone. Even though I was a lone wolf when I was younger, it’s different when you don’t have people and the noise of people constantly around you. I started to reflect on how I want to live and more importantly what kind of woman am I or do I want to be? Even the harsh realization of if I’m not the woman I want to be, what do I need to do to get there?Â
It happens slowly and through an immense amount of trial and error. This process showed me how impatient I am and that there are certain things that I like done in a certain way, like washing dishes for example. I have to handwash all my cutting boards and sharp kitchen knives. Don’t ask me why, but when a roommate of mine tried to put my cutting board in the dishwasher, I nearly had a heart attack. This seems so trivial and honestly stupid, but this is something that I learned was important to my living and how I like to live my life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I also noticed how I use my humor as a deflection and a way that I make connections with people. This trait that I learned about myself is an important trait that I want in people that I surround myself with. This makes building friendships difficult, but it also creates lasting friendships that are the most rewarding by surrounding yourself with people who make you a better person and people that you feel comfortable being authentically yourself around them. I’m tired of picking and choosing the pieces of myself to show people, so I need people that I can be silly and stupid with, but also the people to rely on when times get tough.Â
In a digital world, we tend to spend most of our time comparing ourselves to the perceived view of others, and sometimes we forget what we enjoy outside of the digital space. During this time at university, I took the time to try many different things to find enjoyment and happiness in the mundane things in life. I tried pottery for the first time and I learned that I actually enjoy reading. If you told a ten year old me that I read for enjoyment, she would ask me if I was ok. I also noticed the types of things that I don’t enjoy like hiking, listen I love a hot girl walk, but hiking just makes me feel like I’m living in the hunger games.Â
With all that being said, my time in university has opened my eyes to the woman I am and with all the societies and opportunities that universities give to students, you are going to try things and some will be something that you continue to do and build lasting habits that you use throughout your adulthood. You will learn what’s important to you and live by the principles that you have your life set around. I challenge you to try something that you’ve been itching to try today, who knows if it’s something that becomes a part of your identity, but also it’s important to understand that you aren’t just going to walk onto the campus for the first time and have this transformative experience in 15 minutes. Take the time and try different things, your future self will thank you.