The Rise of Performative Males: Is the epidemic pro or anti feminist?

Are you currently reading this article with an oat milk matcha in hand? Is there a book (preferably The Bell Jar) peeking out of your oversized jorts’ back pocket? What film did you most recently watch? An adaptation of an 1800s feminist piece of literature? Little Women? Well, if these criteria have been met – congratulations, you are a performative male! Or if you are a woman: a cool individual with great taste.

Why the distinction? If the ‘performative male’ were to be defined, it describes a man who outwardly displays his feminism and his tender, niche interests through his style. He curates a specific aesthetic with the sole intention of appealing to women rather than mirroring his true personality. These men typically fail to internally harness the feminist values they portray externally and are ultimately hollow in these views.

Although the term is new, this character is not. The ‘performative male’ has always existed in the social media landscape, just under different titles. Seen from the 2010s’ Tumblr ‘soft boi’ and the 2020 ‘male manipulator’: all of whom seem to share the same goal of the performative male.

As women, should we be happy men are shying away from toxic masculinity and instead are proud to be seen with a Labubu out in public? I’d argue both cases. There is something perhaps more alarming about a man pretending to understand feminism to seduce a woman than a man who will loudly announce himself as anti-feminist. However, this performance of gender is not a great threat posed to feminism. As Rachel Connolly jokes in her commentary on this trend, “If I met a cisgender man who made a point of carrying tampons around with him. I’d probably telephone the police”. A strong point is made here humorously by Connolly that this new male aesthetic is in fact not all that attractive under the female gaze and is rather easy to decipher as a front.

The whole debate of the performative male also brings into question whether we need to deeply resonate with every piece of media, clothing, or lifestyle choice we make. When listening to Lana Del Rey on wired earphones, does a man have to understand the experience of female sadness, unhealthy infatuation with older men, and the appeal of dark love, or can he just enjoy the music? It’s undeniable that everyone has altered themselves or played a sort of character to increase their attractiveness. Everyone’s personal style is arguably not their own but rather a reflection of trends and their surroundings.

Judith Butler states in her famous essay ‘Performative Acts and Gender Constitution’ that all expressions of gender and gender itself are performative. She builds on Simone de Beauvoir’s ideas in ‘The Second Sex’ that “One is not born, but, rather, becomes a woman” – this applying to men too. In this case, the performative male is just another expression of gender we all take part in, formed by conventions and historical patterns in what has been expected of men: becoming something that appeals to the opposite sex. 

Moreover, although the performative male species definitely does hold some evil entities, it seems that most people who take on this ‘aesthetic’ are self-aware and in on the joke. This is evident by the multiple contests held where the ultimate performative male is crowned. These contests, including a very recent one in Bristol, garner mixed-gendered audiences where women get to laugh at men and men laugh at themselves. Irony is strong in the current generation to a point where sincerity is almost hard to come by, and the performative male seems to only be an extension of this. In fact, I’d say this ‘aesthetic’ seems to hold more men who are in on the act of self-depreciation than those who fully believe this style is a foolproof method of gaining a woman’s attention. 

However (in no attempt to cry for the straight man’s cause but…), it could be said that this criticism of men for embracing femininity, as Samhita Krishnahn states, can “end up reinforcing the very gender roles we claim to oppose”. Supporting this idea, constant commentary on gendered trends can greatly contribute to the vicious cycle of “feminine” traits being seen as silly, disingenuous, something confined to only women which inevitably leads to limitations for women and how their presentation of gender is perceived. Overall, the rise of the performative male is not something to be feared but rather understood as an ever-evolving expression of gender. Perhaps pretending to care for a cause is a very small step in progress to genuinely doing so.

• feminism
• gender expression
• performative male
• social media