Sex on Campus: The Orgasm

So I think it’s about time we talked about the orgasm: that elusive shooting star that every woman needs. Also known as the worst, relationship-ruining conversation point there ever was.

Hands up, everyone, who’s faked it? I mean, we all have at some point, am I right?

Well, not me. Because it has come to my attention that faking an orgasm is just about the worst thing one can ever do, and here’s why.

Firstly, it makes a guy think he’s done everything he needs to do. Fake it and he’ll lie back, content with his masculinity, absolutely convinced that he is the world’s best orgasm-giver. How wrong he is. Quite frankly, there is nothing worse than a guy who is under the illusion that he’s better than he is. And you faking that orgasm every time you shag the boy in your seminar is not doing anyone any favours. The reality is that if you fake your orgasm every time, he’ll never realise that he’s not doing something quite right. The result is that no one is happy, least of all your vagina.

Secondly, and slightly more seriously, talking about orgasms is undeniably a way to make your relationship closer. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner to tell him that you aren’t happy with a certain something he’s doing, then you’ll reach a new stage in your relationship where there is no unspeakable awkwardness between the two of you. Faking an orgasm is like lying; it’s not being open with your partner and is consequently hiding your unhappiness. The result is that you can never be fully comfortable with each other.

In fact, the longer you wait to tell him, the worse the situation gets, so it’s best to get the conversation out of the way as soon as possible. Most likely, your partner will be so eager to please you, he’ll learn in no time, and you’ll be having orgasms left, right and centre. In fact, if he isn’t interested in listening and learning from you then he’s not a nice guy anyway, and maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

And finally, faking an orgasm brings you a grand total of zero pleasure. Orgasms are great. Seriously, has anyone ever had a bad orgasm? By faking it, you are missing out big time.

Orgasms are all about relaxing and working out what’s good for you. I was open with my ex-boyfriend and a bit of teaching and a lot of patience later, I was having just as much fun from our sexual relationship as he was. Prior to telling him what was wrong, I felt used; he was climaxing every time and I wasn’t. What’s feminist about that?

In fact, it’s one of the biggest problems with the one night stand, and one of the main reasons why a relationship is better than just sleeping with the first guy who asks you. The difference between having a loving, stable, sexual relationship is that you can talk to your partner about these things, grow and learn together and probably have some of the best sex you’ll ever have. There’s something so much more satisfying about having sex with a guy who makes you feel incredible, than with someone who makes himself feel incredible first.

In order to have a comfortable relationship you need to be comfortable with each other, even about the most touchy and awkward of conversations. So save yourself the trouble, and tell him now, while you still can.