We consider three topics off limits in a relationship: religion, our exes and politics. But is the latter a deal-breaker? Some people say yes definitely, and wouldn’t even consider the prospect of dating someone who wasn’t [insert political party]. It is clear when watching dating shows such as Take Me Out or First Dates that people can be dismissive over the smallest aspects of a potential partner, so it is no surprise that political party identification is high on peoples list of ‘ideal attributes’.
The Brexit vote held in June 2016 threw families and couples into disarray over whether to leave or remain in the European Union. Family dinner time turned into the BBC’s own Great Debate, as children learn of their parent’s decision to leave the EU, or vice versa. Post-Brexit political disputes are high among many millennials who were reported to have voted predominantly remain. This brought about dating apps targeted at young people voting remain, in order to find a fellow “Remainer”. I suspect a similar situation was happening across the pond with the election of Donald Trump, throwing relationships into crisis and many reports of couples considering divorce. While many “Remainers” may never see themselves dating a “leaver”, it is possible to put political opinions aside and be a happy couple. I voted to remain in the EU, however my partner voted to leave, claiming the money could be better spent and that the countries immigration laws were too lax.
It never crossed my mind whether or not political differences in a relationship were a ‘deal-breaker’, and it still does not. To me, there are far more important reasons to be with someone rather than their alignment with your own political views. In my relationship, we have political debates mostly surrounding immigration, security and state spending. Most of these issues we disagree on and end up coming to an ‘agree to disagree’ decision. However, never after a debate have I considered not being with him over our differing views.
To make a relationship work in light of these differences it is important to have some basic ground rules. Firstly, knowing where to draw the line is vital; shouting is a big no-no. Secondly, it is important not to get too personal, this includes creating silly hypothetical situations (that would NEVER happen) to prove your point. Lastly, and most importantly, you should respect each other’s views, even if you don’t agree with them. Dating someone with opposite political views does come with its benefits, despite what people may think. Being in a relationship with someone who has a different political stance to yourself can offer you both the opportunity to learn and make yourself better informed on political issues. Similarly, it only betters your debate skills for the next time you are challenged on these views.
Alternatively, I would argue it is better to be with someone who is politically informed and active, even if they are your political arch nemesis, than with someone who is not interested in the world around them at all. Having a common interest in political issues shows you are somewhat compatible. Political stances are rarely completely static. They change over time as individuals grow and become better informed, and so it is possible that your perfect partner is sat on the other side of the fence.