Note: spoilers.
We’ve all watched it. Or, nearly all of us have. It is the ‘talk of the town’ as Lady Whistledown would say. Or as Jac King has put it: Netflix’s ‘gambit for Normal People-esque success’. It has gained gleaming reviews.
But, why has it stood out so profoundly among today’s television watchers? My opinion: it presents love in the most realistic of ways.
Dexter and Emma’s journey into love is far from easy. This progression journey is dotted with awkward conversations, one-sided longing and miscommunication. Despite not actually being in a relationship until episode twelve, it feels beautifully but painfully truthful because this long slog to love is hugely relative to many. Most of us haven’t experienced the swiftness of the likes of Jesse in Before Sunrise, Leo in The Titanic or Graham in The Holiday. But, the unspoken, quiet longing like that between Dex and Em is something most of us can see ourselves in. Even the screen adaptor, Nicole Taylor, spoke to this idea of being seen, stating that when she read the book she felt the protagonist Emma was her to a tee.
Not only is this longing something that feels so real, as is the feeling of being enchanted by another despite not expecting it. Of course, not everyone can entirely relate to being a television presenter, or a teacher, a womaniser, a travelling actor, or an Edinburgh University student. But what most of us can relate to is being magnetically pulled to another despite all the differences which you may exhibit. Dex and Em come from very different backgrounds and have completely different ambitions, yet they keep coming back to one another.
He is able to tell this story so realistically, and attract such a varied audience because of the twenty-or-so-year period over which the story is told. We have seen different time periods in romcoms before, with lovers remembering the moment they fell in love, but what is different here is that we revisit the characters every year on St Swithin’s Day. It means the characters grow so clearly in the show, encouraging deep empathy towards them. It also means people of all ages are likely to see themselves or a time in their lives in the characters.
What stood out to critic Chitra Ramaswamy was the ability for the series to bring out the ‘poetry in the everyday’, and I would have to agree. I marvelled at the way it makes the ordinary moments extraordinary, bringing colour to happenings which almost all of us get the opportunity to experience. The image of Dex and Em just lying out on the grass in summer is such proof of this. Yes, it is the gorgeous Primrose Hill, but it speaks to simply being and laughing, stopping to marvel at the beauty of the mundane (until they argue of course…)
But, these moments of hurt and indignation between the pair only work to deepen our investment in the series because it feels so real. I initially felt slightly angry at the moment when Dexter comes to visit Emma in Paris. She is finally at a point in her life where she feels content. She is a successful author, living in a beautiful apartment, with a lovely boyfriend. But, it is at this moment, when Dexter is contrastingly at his worst, that they finally get together. I thought it was unfair and made me slightly resentful towards Dexter, but then it made me ponder if it was just a case of timing, an unpredictable thing – something that occurs in real life?
Similarly, the end had me upset. I was gutted to see such a horrible conclusion, separating the pair. I would apply the ‘it’s because it’s so realistic’ argument to this, but that feels very unjust and inaccurate considering Emma’s end is so unlikely and unfair.
Regardless, the journey towards love which David Nicholls and Nichole Taylor write so beautifully, magnetically, and most importantly, truthfully, is such a powerful one. If you still haven’t seen the series, I highly recommend that you do.