Pet names: cute terms of endearment or derogatory and out dated? When and why do they cross that ever so murky line from hit to miss? Back in 2012 Brighton and Hove bus drivers were told not to call women ‘babe’, ‘love’ or ‘darling’ after receiving a complaint which described these words as demeaning. Later, in 2016, Special K ran a campaign which asked women which 20 sexist pet names or phrases they would ban, with bird, doll,chick and babe topping the list. Although they are spoken with the best of intentions, pet names are still a problem which plague us on a regular basis.
‘Babe’ is our favourite pet name. It’s short, simple, easy to type and it just rolls off the tongue. It’s as bland and generic as its user: that boy who sends ‘Hey babe x’ as a group text booty call at 1 am, every Thursday night. Learning actual names is not important with this handy go-to nickname. The real problem with ‘babe’ is not its excessive overuse but its infantile connotations. The literary roots of the word ‘babe’ as an ‘innocent or helpless person’. In using this seemingly affectionate word are we likening our significant other to a vulnerable child rather than an equal? Aside from issues of equality in relationships, pet names can sometimes be downright strange and simply a huge turn off. We should be able to say that we don’t want to be someone’s ‘snugglebum’ without sounding cold hearted.
‘My laptop’, ‘my coat’, ‘my xbox’: perfectly acceptable ways to describe inanimate objects which belong to you. But, putting ‘my’ in front of a pet name is significantly different. ‘My girl’, ‘my darling’, ‘my love’.
Don’t label me like you would your possessions. You don’t own me.
Arguments put forward during the Special K campaign said that pet names hold ‘strong women’ back in a professional environment. Indeed, these familiar terms can feel overbearing and belittling especially when used by an acquaintance or work colleague. Over the summer I worked as a bartender in a nightclub local to me. I was frequently referred to as ‘darling’ or ‘sweet heart’ by my older male co-workers while the boys were called ‘mate’. At the time these seemed to be affectionate nicknames, it later occurred to me just how patronizing it was. On one occasion I was even called ‘little one’ by my boss. Although clearly a reference to my five foot three frame, it made feel about an inch big. Instantly, I became inferior to my male colleagues both in stature and in my ability to fulfil my job role.
The pet name offender probably rarely aims to cause harm with his or her careless tongue but please, save the ‘my hunny bunnies’ for when you’re sure they are being happily received.
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