The girl in the mirror. Some of us really hate her. She says nothing, she commits no act, but the image she projects- is one that some of us cannot bear to look at. What has she done? Why are we so ashamed of her? Well, every day we are told what is wrong with her- by those close to us or even those who just look at her from a tiny screen, miles away. This brings us so much pain, validated pain- for we have been convinced that the physical, outward image we see in the mirror, is what defines our worth in this world. The truth is, that image is only encasing your legitimate worth. It is a vessel, an instrument- of your core self- the version of you that holds the real power.
It is only by luck- who you get when you look in the mirror, and that image will always change, whether we like it or not. Bit of genetics, bit of food, water, sunlight and a bit of cosmetic help perhaps, and you get what you get. It is so obviously random, and yet so easily used by society to define who we are. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be defined by parameters that I can control and better, that truly represent the complex and beautiful inner-workings of myself- which are a lot more fun to work on than making my body smaller or my face ‘prettier’. Mind you, we can do what we want with our physical body, we can alter it how we like- but changing the image in the mirror, going on a journey to become more subjectively, conventionally ‘beautiful’ (because there is no such thing as objective beauty), without exploring your inner beauty, may not be the medicine in trying to find your worth. This is because the very defining factor of a human body- is that it changes.
Artists and scientists alike have studied the dynamic nature of our bodies, like caterpillars or tadpoles or even chameleons- we grow with the right ingredients and conditions, potentially becoming something entirely different, and a change in circumstances or environment could result in a change in the very way we look. Amazing isn’t it! We often call this age. Age is going to shape you and bend you and completely alter the image in the mirror. We are taught to dislike this- to dislike whatever features are most displeasing in the current trends- wrinkles, flabby skin, loss of hair. But are you ever encouraged to think about what you gain from age? Or think about just how knowledgeable, experienced, kind, and strong you will be with thirty more years under your belt? You are a complete miracle of nature. You gather information, you learn from mistakes, you CREATE, you share, you have ambition, you see through your goals. Years and years of this- and that is years and years of growing an inner world and inner beauty, that you are in complete control of shaping. This kind of beauty can speak to people, can teach people, can open up whole worlds for others, and can sustain us through this absolute mess of existence.
What musicians love most about their instrument, is not the way it looks. We do not love the image of a piano, so much as we love the music it makes. Your love of an instrument’s physical nature only grows through your love of what it produces, and the beauty it brings to the world through song. Why can’t we look at our bodies this way? My love of my 20-year-old face, grows more and more every time I learn from a mistake, every time I develop a new friendship, every time I take up a new hobby. It is difficult, to find the value of the girl in the mirror through your inner beauty- especially after years of hearing that what you look like defines how important or loveable you are- but it is possible. We can do it, together.
I have a long way to go, some of us have not even started. But by sharing messages like this, by looking within people to find their value and their beauty- we will all get a little happier, a little kinder, and frankly, a lot more ‘beautiful’… whatever that means.