Dealing with long-distance

There’s no doubt about it, long-distance relationships are hard. Romantic relationships are bound to change and be stretched when distance comes into play. I cannot count the number of times I heard the advice 'don't start uni in a relationship', especially a relatively new one like mine (my boyfriend and I had been together for 4 months when we started uni). One thing to remember is that they are not uncommon. Look around you – at university almost everyone will be some distance from their relatives and friends: some a few miles, others a few thousand miles. Around 75% of university students have been or are currently in long-distance romantic relationships; they are certainly possible and can actually enhance your relationship.


With such wide access to social media, video-calling apps and next-day postal delivery, its now easier than ever to stay in touch with your far away loved ones. That being said, messaging and social media can give rise to misunderstanding and jealousy – tone is so easily misinterpreted while texting. The most important thing is to communicate. If you feel your partner seems ‘off’ with you, physically speaking to them is the best way to overcome issues. The likelihood is they didn’t mean anything by it, but allowing yourself to think about what they could have meant instead of confronting the issue will only cause you to mentally spiral into negative thoughts. 


Doing small (or big) things to show how much you love and appreciate your partner never goes unnoticed. Sending love letters, cards or small gifts will undoubtedly make their day. If you want to go all out, a surprise visit would be brilliant, and would make for an unforgettable experience. 


Keeping a routine with how you stay in touch with one another is also important. If you agree to have a particular slot in the day which you carve out to talk to one another, you’ll both benefit. You can update each other on how you’re doing and be reminded of how much you love and support one another because you dedicate this time. Maintaining such routine also prevents silly misunderstandings arising and being blown out of proportion when you have a lack of contact with your other half.  


Remembering that it is not all bad is vital in forming a strong long-distance relationship. My boyfriend and I are at different universities, so we know we will be apart for three years. Despite the difficulties, we both appreciate that we are where we need to be right now, and doing what we need to do in order that we can support ourselves in the future. Being apart means we are still able to have independence and grow as people – we are both so young and though we don’t always want space, we need it to strengthen our bond. We have learnt things about each other that you cannot learn from being together 24/7, love each other in ways much deeper than physical and the time we spend with each other is now so much more precious.