I’m bored. I’m bored of sincerely learning a new instrument. I’ve read all the bloody books. I’ve gained 3 stone from gorging on lovingly home-baked goods.
So, here’s a list of ALTERNATIVE things to do. When you’ve reached your limit. When you want to go outside and scream but you CAN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE, and you also have neighbours.
Stay at home kids.
(I take no responsibility for any accident injury or harm from these suggestions)
1. Try something you’re bad at
Like to sing but can’t hold a note? Give your family a concert. It might not be sonically pleasing, but it will certainly be entertaining.
Can’t cook? Cook you and your family an intricately complex meal, do your best and try not to burn down the house.
Can’t draw? Give it a go! Your skills might improve, or even better they may remain terrible and you have a whole collection of art pieces that you can return to and laugh at.
2. Learn to play an instrument that’s not an instrument
The spoons! An undeniably respected party trick that you can hone in these unprecedented times. Spoons are likely to survive the apocalypse, so you’ll always have your materials.
Fill wine glasses with different levels of water and rub them.
What sort of noise does your sofa make when you hit it? The drums.
See if you can harmonise with the smoke alarm when it is set off by your terrible cooking.
3. Rearrange your room in an entirely impractical way
Put your bed across the door. Put your desk in front of your wardrobe. Turn your chest of drawers to face the wall.
It adds some drama into your life, you can finally complain about something else! Having to spider crawl across your furniture also adds a fun new workout element to your day.
Have fun and avoid fire hazards!
4. DIY your clothes
This could be printing a fun pattern or image onto them. Or (and I personally advocate for this one) a complete transformation.
Turn your shirts into trousers and visa versa. That ugly hat you aunt gave you? Now a fetching avant-garde waistcoat.
The garment might look incredible, and you can make millions selling them on. Or they might look ridiculous, but that doesn’t matter because no one will see them, because you can’t go out.
5. Spend the day at the ‘beach’
Nothing is stopping your imagination. Get the beach towels out, lather yourself in sun cream and turn up the lights. Stick your sunglasses on and have a cocktail. Use the flour you bought for £20 a bag and instead of making another inedible banana bread, spread it on the floor. Close your eyes and wiggle your toes in the soft white sand.
This can apply to any setting. Like on Love Island, when they get all dressed up (full hair and makeup) to literally go downstairs. It could be a nightclub in Berlin, a coffee shop in Paris. Go full-throttle on wherever you go.
6. Turn your house into a museum
In museums, they have those posters next to the item and give a little description of it. Maybe the history of the artefact or the context and intentions of the artist.
Do this, but for items in your household. The lamp your grandmother bought for your Mum that she hates but won’t get rid of because she knows feelings will get hurt. The dent in the wall from the cricket ball participating in the recreation of the 2019 Cricket World Cup Final Super over. The remains of mangled spoons and shattered wine glasses sacrificed in an attempt to improve musicality. You could even provide guided tours for others in your household.
7. Dig a hole, see how far you get.
Remember when you were a child, and considered digging to Australia? Live your dreams. Just keep going.
8. Tangle, untangle, repeat to fade
- Gather all your electrical equipment.
- Feverishly tangle all the wires.
- Carefully and calmly, untangle them.
- Repeat steps 1-3 until it’s time for bed.
9. Find out about your ancestors
But don’t stop at a history project. LIVE like them too. Great-great-great grandfather was a blacksmith? Start banging that steel! Maybe they were involved in the French Revolution, build that guillotine and start chopping. They might have been chimney sweeps, so cover yourself in coal dust (cocoa powder is a good sub) and walk around with a broomstick and sing. That B in GCSE Drama wasn’t for nothing.
Stay sane, stay at home.
This article is part of our themed week on ways to cope with social distancing and isolation due to the COVID-19 pandemic in the UK. We send our HC love to all of our readers and contributors!