I asked friends and housemates to describe some of their worst clubbing experiences during their time in Bristol – and it seems I happen to know a pretty unlucky bunch! Surprisingly, not all of these occurred at Lizard Lounge (although this could well be because no one ever remembers much of what happens there). There may be lessons to be learnt here; I’m not sure. In the meantime, enjoy these tales of misfortune and be glad that it’s not you … yet.
1. One of my housemates spent an entire night staring at a DJ she fancied at the O2, dancing wildly and attempting to get him to notice her. She then realised that the girl on stage with him was his girlfriend, and slunk back to the bar, red-faced, to drown her sorrows with tequila shots.
2. Another housemate went out on a social and agreed to participate in a drinking game. What drinking game he was playing, I’m not sure … but for reasons that remain a mystery to me (and him!), it resulted in him downing eighteen whisky shots. Rather him than me…
3. Getting dumped in the prison-like smoking area of Syndicate, much to the bewilderment of the bouncer who was watching us, wasn’t one of my best nights. (Okay, that one was me. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but we’re great friends now).
4. A second one I’ve experienced: fighting my way through the crowds at Syndicate to go to the loo, only to come back and find the one friend I was there with getting off with a guy. Needless to say, I popped to the café round the corner, bought myself a chicken burger and then promptly jumped in a cab home.
5. A different friend decided to have a go on the bouncy castle at Syndicate one night. However, upon attempting to find her shoes, she discovered someone had stolen them. Rather than head home, she spent the entire night walking around the club barefoot. Her reward the next morning? A banging headache and a pair of very, very bruised feet.
6. Another O2 experience: After drinking a little too much vodka, my friend proceeded to loudly declare her love for one of the sofas upstairs (yes, you read that correctly). Rather than listen to reason and let us take her home, she rang one of her friend’s housemates (whom at this point, she wasn’t particularly close with), refusing to leave her favourite new chair unless he came and picked her up. Fortunately, he took pity on her (she woke up very confused the next morning as to why she wasn’t in her own hall!), but we haven’t let her live that one down.
7. The friend-who-fell-in-love-with-the-chair had another interesting experience. In her words: “I was getting off with someone, went up for air, went back in, and head-butted him. We both ended up with nosebleeds.” Romantic.
8. And finally, possibly my favourite experience on the list (the girl will remain completely anonymous…): She headed back with a guy, waking up the next morning in a different postcode, with a phone that had run out of charge, no cash and not a clue where she was. She eventually navigated her way home using bus stop signs, but she assures me it was not an experience to be relived…