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Adebusola Abujade / Her Campus Media
Sex + Relationships

Your Sister From Another Mister

In my column, I aim to answer all questions regarding sex and relationships. My answers will be based on my own experience, and others to provide advice and reassurance and hopefully break some stigmas.

Why do girls try and act like they don’t care?
  1. Maybe they don’t actually care.
  2. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you don’t care rather than being vulnerable for somebody to take advantage of you. Especially if you’ve been hurt before. Trust takes time.
  3. They could be trying to fake it until they make it! I know I’ve been there before, sometimes it works, but I’ve found it’s often me running away from the truth.
Do you think size matters?

I’m going to have to assume what you’re implying for this one. I wouldn’t say size does matter because it seems to be a different preference for various people. In some instances, I’ve spoken to people with no preference at all! Much like a lock and key, not all keys are meant to fit in all locks. Therefore, bigger is not always best, and it’s always up to the individual what they prefer. Also, it’s not the be all and end all; foreplay is equally important, if not more, for women anyways.

Any tips for moving on from a breakup?

Honestly, take it as a chance to better yourself and practice self-care. Get a new scented body wash, cut/dye your hair, learn a new hobby, and focus on your studies/career/passions. Rediscover and redefine your identity as an individual rather than part of a couple. There are so many things to do! It’s also important to confide in yourself and journal about the relationship and how your future will look without them. You’ll potentially discover ways in which it wasn’t even serving you. Break-ups can be a transformational event; it’s all about personal perspective. Spending lots of time with my friends helped; it reminds you that platonic love can give you just as much comfort.

Do you have any tips on how to boost confidence?

As an individual, I would say I am more extroverted than introverted. However, I do have my moments of introversion. For example, when I have to do something alone on a day when I’m already feeling anxious. When this happens, I will put my headphones on and listen to an artist who empowers me. My go-to artists are Lana del Rey, PinkPantheress and Eliza Doolittle.

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My name is India-Maia, but I just go by India. Currently, I am in my second year at Brighton University studying Media. I come from a diverse background, which has resulted in a rather liberal outlook to life. I aim to show this through my writing at Her Campus in an Agony Aunt style column. I applied to join Her Campus so that I could write alongside writers to help empower women and be apart of something I am very passionate about.
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