I started college out with the same boy that I was with my senior year of high school. We made it through October of freshman year and then went our separate ways. In the moment, I was heartbroken, but after really reflecting I realized that this and all of my relationships had one thing in common it was draining.
Between our split, the college transition of making new friends, and trying to balance old friends a lot of people who use to be a big part in my life were not longer in it. Besides me being dramatic and thinking every situation is the end of the world, I would constantly blame the downfalls on my relationships, romantic or not, on others for either running me too thin or not appreciating me. I would then go to this mindset that I wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s first choice or any choice at all for that matter. But the truth is, the reason I felt so drained was that I put too much into my relationships. I give my all and I expect too much in return only to get disappointed for expecting so much from someone who would never give me what I wanted. I had to learn that no one could give me what I wanted because I didn’t know what I wanted for myself.
From there, I began to celebrate myself deciding to not settle back down.
I started dating for the sole purpose of dating and making friends instead of looking for my next significant other. I learned about myself, how to love myself, and most importantly only doing for myself. I even celebrated my anniversary of being single. A year had gone by and I had an amazing time dating myself!
I write this article today because as the the two year mark approaches I finally allowed myself to open up my heart again and I didn’t even realize it happened until it was over. It was short lived fling ruined by both of our shortcomings. I sat in sorrow trying to figure out what was wrong with me and I realized that I was going back to that same flawed mindset I use to have. I had to pick myself up and give myself the same pep talk I would always give to my friends. I couldn’t lose what I’ve spent so long building up. I am a catch! I am a successful, beautiful woman unlike anyone else in this world and if someone doesn’t see my worth then not only are they missing out, but they do not deserve me either.
You can spend your college years stressing over love and relationships or you can just be free. We‘ve all heard before that our 20s are for making mistakes, so make them! Stop settling for one sided relationships, being the side piece, chasing the crush that doesn’t give you the time of day, or staying in someone’s life because they’ve been there so long. Instead, just be unapologetically YOU.