Sacre Bleu! Our favorite gossip girls (and one limping gossip guy) are still in Paris, and the new location may have given the show the push it needed to return to greatness. But, with greatness does not come great styling: Serena’s bizarre hair-don’t paired with a shiny blazer and electric blue skinny jeans screamed more David Bowie than Coco Chanel. This proved to be the appropriate attire for a morgue—when a dead body washed up with Chuck’s wallet, Serena had to ID it. She found out what we already knew, Mr. Bass was most certainly alive. Living under the pseudonym “Henry Prince”, the limping lothario tried to reinvent himself entirely to alleviate the pain of being Chuck Bass (I completely commiserate… it’s hard to be filthy rich.)
Blair was still living her Parisian fairy-tale complete with a real-life Prince and Harry Winston jewelry, but in true GG fashion—Chuck Bass was right around the corner. When Serena got word that Chuck planned on disappearing, she urged her best frenemie to talk him out of it. This lead to an emotional reunion for Chuck and Blair, and—you guessed it—the basshole isn’t going anywhere. Instead he’s bringing his foreign Florence Nightingale to NYC…for free…because he’s Chuck freaking Bass.
Back in New York, Dan attempts to care for Georgina’s demon spawn while he competes with Nate for Serena’s affections. Nate’s been hanging out with Juliet, a psychotic stalker who probably isn’t Gossip Girl but most definitely will bring the drama. Juliet has an agenda, but what it is, is still unclear. The question du jour is: Who will Serena choose? Nate or Dan? But, when Serena finally returns, things get pretty awkward. Dan’s with Vanessa and Nate is cuddling up to Juliet which leaves Serena as the fifth wheel.
Rufus and Lily are adjusting their new roles as the youngest grandparents…ever. Just as Rufus starts to warm to baby Milo, he discovers some cold hard scientific proof that Dan isn’t the father: an O blood type. Maybe he’ll stop talking about getting a paternity test and finally man up and do it?
The episode left us with some burning questions: What is Juliet’s deal? Who was she talking to on the phone? Will Chuck and his new girl sizzle or fizzle in NYC? Is Dan the father of baby Milo? What will happen with the Dan-Vanessa-Nate-Juliet-Serena love pentagon? And… WHERE IS DOROTA? Tune in next week, and check back here for some more Gossip Girl scoop. You know you love us. Xoxo, Her Campus.