I used to fear change.
I used to hate it.
That feeling of discomfort, the break from the routine and the change in ordinary. I used to despise it. I never really understood why I had to grow up and go to college and why things couldn’t stay the same forever. But I also knew that ‘change is the only constant’, or so they kept saying.
At 18 when I left home, not forever, just to go to college I experienced change and discomfort like never before. I had an amazing support system and I couldn’t have done it alone but it was the weirdest feeling in the world. I knew it was temporary I knew I would be going back every December and summer break and I even knew that college isn’t forever. I still had this sinking feeling of something coming to an end. I was saying goodbye to the carefree high school days, the ones with no responsibilities and where we didn’t have to worry about the future.
Today, when I reflect, now as a junior in college two years later, all the pieces seem to come together. Of course, I had to leave home, I had to be uncomfortable, that’s the only way I could grow and become the person I am today. I am so lucky to have amazing people in life, family and friends pushing me all along and telling me I’d get used to it and think I finally am. Leaving and moving on has always been hard for me as I get attached to people and places way too easily, but I also became attached to college. It became home and I found people here that have pushed me to become a better version of myself. I found my passion and what I want to learn and pursue for the rest of my life. That was only possible because I was told to embrace that change and I’m slowly learning that maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all. Sure, I still have bad days, sure I still always miss home and I think a change in things will always be intimidating and scary. However, I’m learning to get over that faster and I’m developing skills that help me deal with that. Things for the first time are always scary and uncertainty is not the best but I have started to look forward to the unknown and trusting that whatever it is, I will be able to figure it out. To all those who are fearing change and anxious about college and freshman year, take it from a junior that you will find your place and things will get better, the process is what allows you to grow!
The ‘me’ today looks forward to new things and takes change as a new opportunity to learn… Home will always be there and It will always be my happy place. Home is where I’m going to end up but the journey it turning out to be the best decision I have made yet!