Last year, both of us studied abroad and were halfway across the world from some of our closest friends. And it was really really hard. So after a year of trial and a whole lot of error, we’re here with some tips and tricks to everyone new or old to long-distance friendships.
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) Show extra affection with your words to make up for the lack of in-person interaction
A huge part of friendship is being able to give a hug after a tough day or a high five after a great interview. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to receive/give them to your long distance friends. Since you’re not there to do so in person, tell them how much you wish you could squish their cheeks when they look really cute or give them a hug when they’re feeling icky.
2) Ask about their family.
Chances are if they’re far away from you, they’re far away from their families too (call us Dr. Seuss)! And, if they’re making new friends who haven’t met their families yet, they may feel like they have no one who understands their home life. So make sure to ask for updates on Ma and Pa, their pesky little brother, or their crazy Aunt Susan who works on a farm in Iowa.
3) Send them a handwritten letter
Even though the postal system takes longer than a quick text, your long distance BFFs will love the extra effort and personal touch of a handwritten letter, plus seeing your familiar handwriting will really put a smile on their faces. Make sure to be super creative with lots of stickers, colored pencils, and/or a small present to accompany your letter.
4) Remember the details!
Write notes to keep yourself on top of their new friends, classes, favorite restaurant, and everything in between. It may sound creepy, but we promise it’s endearing!
5) Be on top of time differences
For friends in those extra far places, your morning may be their nighttime, so keep that in mind. They may have already gotten stuck in traffic, put their shirt on backward twice, spilled coffee on their favorite sweater, and failed a test. All before you woke up this morning!
6) Be conscious of the weather where they are
Whether rain or shine ~pun intended~ the forecast may be affecting your long distance pal! Make sure to give them extra love on those rainy days.
7) Remember to send them parts of your day that remind you of them
Thank you technology! A little reminder here and there that your friends make a difference in your everyday life, can really help your friendship even when you’re not physically in the same place. See their doppelganger on campus? Hear someone pronounce something with the weird pronunciation that they do? Let them know!
8) Have a movie night
Technology again saves the day! Websites like letsgaze.com and others allow you to have movie nights from afar, so you can hear their sassy comments (or make your own!) even from miles away.
9) Don’t get frustrated when your friendship isn’t the same
Change can really super, duper suck. And even more so when it feels like your relationship with someone close to you is shifting, especially while college is throwing things at you left and right. Just remember that the bond you and your friend share is special and important no matter what shape or form it takes, even if it’s different than what you’re used to.
10) Make them feel like they’re there with you
Just as you want to know what’s going on in your friends lives, make sure you are keeping THEM in the know as well!!! Live-texting your daily people-watching or opinions on your shared favorite TV show is always guaranteed to put a smile on a good friends face. And TBH, it’s pretty fun to do in the process.
11) When your friend is growing and changing, be happy for them, not sad.
You know how you try out new things, make new friends, and probably have existential crises once in a while when you’re in a new place? Don’t forget that they also are going through the same thing too. And it’s REALLY easy to be jealous of their new experiences, or sad that you’re missing out. But try really hard not to. Negative emotions can only bring your friendship down, and friendship is supposed to be the only ship that can’t sink!
12) Keep tabs on sales at their favorite stores
Everyone loves a good sale! You can even sign up for the email lists of the stores they like, plus you get discounts yourself!
13) Send them picture/video updates
Sometimes it just takes seeing someone to help bridge the physical gap. So let them see you! Extra points if you come up with good captions to go along with your pictures.
And just remember, your friends will always love you no matter what!