With college comes excitement, growth, and awesome opportunities. It’s a time to really focus on yourself. And yet, those with roommates are also learning how to compromise, how to be flexible, and how to live with someone else (many times, with someone we just met). I shared a bedroom with my sister for 18 years of my life, so I’ve learned a thing or two about having a roommate. Having a friendly, uplifting environment is super important — and getting along with your roommate/s is even more so. Check out my top tips!
1 Talk it out
Listen, I get that some of you might not be comfortable with confrontation. Perhaps your roommate leaves her dirty clothes all over the floor or listens to music at full blast (that’s what headphones are for, right?!) but you can’t expect someone to know your pet peeves if you’ve never actually discussed them. I recommend setting up a casual weekly check-in. (Use this time to discuss any dorm-related expenses as well.) It’s incredibly helpful to create an environment where you can openly discuss how you’re both doing as roommates. Remember to present your concerns in a friendly yet firm manner.
2 Walk it out
Meaning, walk out of your room. Spending more time outside your dorm is better for emotional health anyways, but it also really diminishes tensions between roommates. I’m, by no means, suggesting that you avoid confronting any issues, but I am saying that you can reduce the intensity of those tensions if you’re not always in your dorm.
3 Be nice
Sounds super simple right? This is just a friendly reminder to actively go out of your way to be kind. Treat your roommate with respect, consideration, and appreciation and she’s a million times more likely to do the same. When sharing close quarters, it’s very important to put in the extra effort… go out of your way to ask about her day, check in on how she’s doing, and share about yourself as well. Not only will it make you both more comfortable, but it’s an awesome way to bond as well.
4 Create some ground rules
This might sound a bit similar to #1 but it’s so essential that I’m saying it again. Discussing what you expect from your roommates is the best way to create a happy environment. Instead of getting passively upset that she left her towel on the floor again, why not simply tell her that it bothers you? Before bringing a group of friends over, send a quick text to make sure it’s okay. Try calling your high school friends from the hallway if your roommate is super tired. It’s all about being respectful, clear with your expectations, and following through on what you agreed upon.
5 Don’t take things too seriously
Having said all that, just take it easy. Being flexible is a huge part of living with someone. We all have off days, we all get homesick, and we’re all entitled to a few mistakes here and there. It’s important to confront but it’s just as important to be understanding and easy-going.
Bonus tip: consider getting your roommate a little gift here and there! Every time I’d return to school after being home, I always tried to bring my roommate a present (usually dark chocolate). Likewise, my roommate (shoutout to Hannah!) got me the sweetest gift for the holidays. It’s a really great way to bond and show appreciation.
Happy rooming!
PS: Unless otherwise agreed upon, don’t eat your roommate’s food :)