Dear Sofie,
I have been hooking up with the same guy for a few months now. I enjoy spending time with him but I’m getting annoyed because he isn’t good with texting. He only “remembers” to text me Friday and Saturday nights at around midnight. It really frustrates me because I don’t just want to be a booty call. I do like him, but if this is going to continue something has to change. What do you suggest I do in order to get him to text me more often not just late at night over the weekends?
Sincerely,
Text me maybe?
Dear Text me maybe,
The key here is to be straightforward. In my experience, most guys aren’t good with texting, but us girls seem to take that more personally than we should. As much as we’d like it to be true, people aren’t mind readers, so he probably has no clue that you’re frustrated he doesn’t text you back as much as you like. The next time you’re with him, tell him what you told me: you enjoy spending time together, but you don’t want to be a booty call; you want to text more because you like talking to him, not just hooking up, though that’s fun, too! Try your best not to have his answer in mind before he actually says it, because you’ll set yourself up for disappointment if he tells you something you don’t want to hear. If he doesn’t reciprocate, yes it will probably feel sucky in the moment, but you’ll be ok! Consider whether he’s worth the late nights and frustration? If the answer is yes, I’d say, when you’re with him, enjoy it while it lasts, and when you’re not, focus on school and friends to keep your mind busy; let him come to you. You may decide that you have more important things to do with your time than going to his room at midnight for a make out sesh! No matter the outcome, stick with your gut feeling; don’t lower your standards for ONE guy; you’re better than that!
Keep on keepin’ on,
Sofie