o·ver·a·chieve (vr–chv) intr.v.: To perform better or achieve more success than expected.
As I write this, there is a loud sound coming from the suite nearby. It sounds something like a tuba. The tuba sounds sick. It’s hard to say if the mystery tuba offender I speak of is really an overachiever given that the sound almost made me lose some of the chocolate covered pretzels I gave my boyfriend for Valentine’s day (and then ate). But it is midnight, he/she is practicing, and it is incredibly aggravating. The truth is often I find over achievers aggravating: what are you trying to prove? Whose expectations are you trying to exceed?
Brandeis was where I first started meeting these foreign types of people, these over achievers. In high school, my graduating class was equal in size to about half of Brandeis’ total population. We only got halfway through our graduation ceremony before even nature got tired and it started to flash thunderstorm (I got my diploma, in case you were wondering). 6 incoming freshman were pregnant when I first came through the doors of Montclair High, and a large percentage of students didn’t graduate. It was a school where you had to make your own future, but you didn’t have to be perfect to stand out. I was considered an overachiever because I was a) completely free of any children, soon to be children, or conditions that would make me able to bear children b) I had A’s on my transcript c) I spoke multiple languages d) I drove (my parent’s) nice car. All of those were considered accomplishments and while I am proud to say I’ve officially beat teen pregnancy, they weren’t much of a challenge.
At Brandeis, overachievers are a whole different species. To make it easier, I’ve narrowed it down to 3 categories I’ve found most prominent. Are you one?
Overworked: These types of overachievers are often silent but deadly. To be honest they’re my favorite type because they don’t flaunt their overachiever-ness. They don’t put it in your face, and usually it comes out piece by piece. It seems like anything you talk about, they’re already involved in. They’re the ones changing out of their Roosevelt fellows shirt so they can go catch the last half of the ballroom dancing lesson down the hall. They’re leaders in every club, making their own clubs on the side, applying for internships at Goldman Sachs and helping teach children in Uganda how to brush their teeth. The best part? They’re still looking for things to take on! These overachievers are overachievers due to necessity. They thrive when they’re busy and they are skilled time managers. If I could be an overachiever, I think I’d be this kind. Too bad it would never work out: I would put it in everyone’s face. Look at me! Here’s my pictures from Uganda! Yes, that is Obama next to me shaking my hand…
Overactive: These are selective overachievers. My nifty name for them stems solely from the fact that they are activist overachievers: they are activists not because of a cause but just because they feel like they need to do something. If you feel offended by this article and now have the urge to protest outside my Ziv (It’s 128, I dare you), or want to write about yourself passive aggresively in the comment box to prove to me I’m the one who’s shallow, you my friend fall into this category. I had never met people like this in Montclair, but for some reason they are plentiful here.
Here’s a prime example: I am proud to say that I did not pick up one of those copper spray painted buckets that were thrown around campus last year. I do admit I am sad I wasn’t able to stack them up against someone’s dorm room door though (last year was a busy year for me). Looking back, the buckets were somehow supposed to bring us closer together..something about water in the buckets and a common stream. As the buckets flourished, the go-green community noticed that they were not, in fact, biodegradable, and then the rest of the Brandeis community noticed that it probably cost a fortune to get those ridiculous buckets spray painted and on campus no where near the location of this mystery “peace” fountain. So while approximately three people made the hike all the way to the happy fountain to fill their wannabe brass, bad for nature, waste of money buckets with the magical love water, the rest of us just tried to avoid them when they rolled in front of our cars. Activists who are active for little to no reason annoy me.
Freshman year someone solicited me to sign for cops not to hold guns. I admit, I’ve seen the Branpo and occasionally I wonder what exactly was required of them to qualify for their current positions. But given that this was directly after the Virginia Tech ‘incident’, I would much rather a gun be pointed by a police officer at someone who has a gun pointed at me. I asked this solicitor why she thought the Po shouldn’t carry guns. “Guns are bad” the bimbo told me. Guns are bad…and? I really tried to give her a chance to redeem herself. But honestly, if you must pick a cause and go around petitioning instead of doing something useful like raising money or volunteering, can’t you do a little research? Take some public speaking lessons maybe? Guns are bad…in the hands of cops but not in the hands of a depressed and suicidal maniac? As a freshman I wasn’t as ballsy but if someone were to say the same to me today I would have slapped them with their clipboard. The vote on these overachievers? A solid no.
Over the Top: We’ve all raised our hand in class and asked a question just to get class participation. It happens. But if I can refer to you as “that econ major who always asks pointless questions for attention” and people immediately know I’m talking about you then bingo you’re in. You’re Over the Top. You are the reason why I have to stay five minutes late every class since the teacher couldn’t finish his lecture in time. You are the one who comes to every single office hour just so you can hear your professor say you’ve done a good job. You bring candy during the holidays with little “you changed my life” notes. You act like anything below perfect is less than what meets your “endlessly high expectations”. Well I have a question for you, because you’re really confusing me. Are you smart? Cause you ask some of the dumbest questions I have ever heard. Yet you expect a 100% on every exam. So which is fake: the questions or the expectations? The world may never know. Perhaps my friend the Tuba player can inch his way into this category.
Well now that I’ve said my piece, does this sound familiar to you?