There is a point in every relationship when the honeymoon phase ends and things are not quite as new and shiny as they were before. They say that April showers bring May flowers, but what if the showers are drowning out other, more prosperous, opportunities? From my own experience, it can be hard to tell if the relationship is heading south or just getting comfortable. Here are a few simple tricks to help show whether the relationship is hitting a normal comfort stage or if there is a storm on the horizon and you should abandon ship.
1. They don’t want to be seen with you in public anymore
There is a difference between going out in public less and your significant other not wanting to be seen with you at all. Going out less overall is natural as you get more and more comfortable staying in and hanging out. Signs that they don’t really want to be seen with you can be seen in little things such as negatively commenting on what you are wearing to go out, or trying to keep you at a distance when around people they know.
2. They isolate you from your friends
As couples date longer and longer, there is an understanding that your significant other will be your go-to for any news or for making plans for the weekend. The issue comes when your significant other starts to pull you away from your friend groups. They might claim it’s because they don’t like the group or that you need to spend more time with each other because they are lonely without you. While it is important for couples to spend time with each other, it is also important to get plenty of time with other friends. I personally go to a coffee shop with my friends on Saturday mornings to hang out and get some friend time in.
3. They never compliment you without you probing for it
Not everyone is great with compliments and as a relationship continues, compliments are naturally going to get less common, but a lack of compliments are still a sign that something might be going sour. Compliments don’t always mean comments on appearance. Sometimes they can be in the form of a “good job” for doing well on a project or that they like something you made for them. This becomes even more serious when your partner compliments other people on the same things you did but doesn’t compliment you. A friend of mine once went to a dance with her now ex and he complimented half the girls he was around that night on their appearance but didn’t say anything about how she looked all night. Long story short: if you have to probe for a compliment, it is not a great sign.
4. You catch them lying to you
If someone can’t be honest with you, that is a good sign to leave. If you think your significant other is lying to you, there are different ways to tell depending on the situation. For example, if you have been in a place where you could look through each other’s phones and suddenly they become protective of it, that might be a sign of something. Generally, you will have some kind of feeling and it’s important to talk about your feelings with each other regarding the situation. You need to air your concerns (no matter their response) if something is going on that’s making them act strange. If they are defensive, there is likely something they need to say but don’t want to.
Overall these are a few signs that the relationship may be taking a turn for the worse. These, by no means, signify that the relationship is dead. There is always a chance to come out of the April showers to have May flowers. If they are exhibiting these signs though, you might want to consider what you want in the relationship and figure out where the issues lie. If it seems like a miscommunication, that can easily be worked out. But if it’s a personality thing, it may be time to move on to greener pastures. Overall, it is important to remember each relationship is different and while these could be signs, it is necessary to deeply consider your own personal relationship on a case-by-case basis. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.