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Sex + Relationships

Love is in the air… or maybe not? Greek mythology edition

When it comes to Valentine’s Day, we all love a good secret scandal more than a love story. Nothing gets more scandalous than the love affairs in Greek mythology! If this was modern times, most of the outcomes of these love affairs would be different. 

Let’s start with the goddess of love and beauty, Aphrodite. This goddess might be able to attract gods with her beauty, but looks can be deceiving. The most scandalous affair she had in Greek mythology was with Ares, the god of war. Seems like Aphrodite had a thing for the ‘bad boys.’ 

Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, the god of fire (once again I see a trend in Aphrodite’s type). However, her heart has always been with Ares! The myth is that Hephaestus caught Aphrodite and Ares being intimate on the bed he and Aphrodite shared… this is already too much drama. However, Hephaestus did not believe in karma and took matters into his hands. He trapped both of them long enough for the gods to laugh at them naked. 

Moving on…

Now, most people who have read Greek mythology would say that this couple may be the least problematic. But their romance is not all sunshine and rainbows! Let’s examine the love affair between Hades and Persephone. First of all, Hades kidnapped Persephone when he wanted to pursue her. Now, I don’t know who Hades was getting love advice from, but in today’s society that’s not how you get the girl. Maybe a slide in your DMs, a cheesy pickup line or a dating app — but not kidnapping.  

In the beginning, she was not happy in her relationship, and can you blame her? But it was said they grew madly in love with each other. There are no stories of affairs, so maybe they cleared the cheating way. 

Another interesting relationship dynamic we have is Eros (Cupid) and Psyche! Aphrodite was jealous that Psyche was being worshiped for being beautiful as well. (Aphrodite was very problematic, I feel like she was the toxic one in Greek mythology). Aphrodite sends Cupid to shoot his arrow to make Psyche fall in love with something hideous. Cupid scratches himself with the bow and he falls madly in love with Psyche. The only twist in this love story is that Psyche can never see Cupid’s face. I mean this is the modern version of Love Is Blind. The purpose is to fall in love with the personality rather than the looks! Twisted, but interesting…

Now, I wanted to end with Zeus, the god of the sky. I feel like in today’s society we may have a few Zeus’s. I can’t even break down his relationships with different goddesses because his list of women is longer than a shopping spree receipt! To me, Zeus feels very entitled when it comes to women in Greek mythology — and he uses his powers for evil more than good. 

This is all to say that toxic relationships have been happening for centuries. Valentine’s Day does not have to be about love, especially if it’s unhealthy. Learning from terrible Greek mythology relationships and some new failed modern relationships shows that sometimes, you have to just focus on yourself. 

Kianna Goss

Bradley U '22

Hi my name is Kianna, I am a journalism major with a double minor in sociology and advertising with public relations. I enjoy creative writing, traveling, and trying out new recipes.
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