Have you ever had a close friend who you hang out with almost 24/7, and then suddenly the dynamic of your friendship changes when they get in a relationship?
If so, you’re not alone in this situation. I also know the feeling of friendships becoming rocky after a friend starts to date someone new. I understand there is a fresh phase in a relationship, where everything is fun and exciting, but that doesn’t mean friends should be left behind.
Almost every friendship has a girl code. There is a do’s and don’ts list to respect the boundaries of the relationship. So, here’s girl code 101: do not put your relationship over your friends and vice versa. The key is balancing both relationships while still having a significant other and friends in your life.
Kristin Corpuz, writer for Elite Daily, mentions that it’s important to treasure your friendships because your friends will be there for every partner that walks in and out of your life.
Now, it’s not to say that individuals start to hang out less with their friends intentionally, but it does happen more commonly than you might think. Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you’re questioning the balance between relationships and friendships.
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Are you spending the majority of your time with your boo?
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When was the last time you and your friends had a night out together without your partner?
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When was the last time you checked in on your friends since your relationship?
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Do you bring your partner everywhere with you when you go out with your friends?
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Are you neglecting your relationship with your partner to maintain your friendships?
Keeping those questions in mind, you can evaluate if you are playing the role of both a great friend and partner. It’s important to reevaluate your behavior in these situations to make sure that you are not putting one relationship over the other.
“My last best friend did this to me, putting her boyfriend over me whenever I needed her. It became a time where when we did hang out, the topic of the conversation was always him,” said Ayanna Bailey, a senior at Marquette University. “I think when we are in a dating stage at a young age, we are learning the ways of dating, so we do make those mistakes of putting our relationships over our friends, but there should be a balance between the two.”
It hurts to lose a good friend, so you should not risk losing the friendship because you don’t know how to balance the two. The key is communication and making sure your friend and partner both know they play a vital role in your life.