The last conversations with my parents went over who you should go out on trips with and if you really know someone. This conversation that I had recently with my parents was about relationships.Â
Now I am going to be blunt, my parents were players because everyone wanted them and still do. Not to toot my own horn, but I got their genes. Anyway, we had sat down and talked about relationships we’ve all had. This included things we have all gone through, guys they didn’t agree with me talking to, the full run around. This conversation had started when something was mentioned and it made my parents think of one of my ex’s. He did not respect anyone’s house, belongings, or time. He and his friend made my family very uncomfortable. He would randomly show up then just walk in and out of our house. This was a cultural shock to us because we were taught if you are not invited in, you don’t go in. He didn’t really respect me or my family and I was blinded by attention. Luckily, I didn’t stay with that one for too long, but none of this is really the point.Â
A lot of the boys I talked to when I was younger were white because I went to predominantly white schools. If you all do not know, I am a black woman which means that when I am with a white man, it is different than if I am with a black man. This goes both ways, even when it’s two women or two men. We are looked at differently. My parents and I talked about this in depth on what goes through one’s mind when seeing couples like this of the same race and of different races or same gender and different genders. One reason why I feel that none of my prior relationships with white men worked was because of the cultural differences.Â
The cultural differences between different communities are drastic whether we see it with our own eyes or not. The cultures between two races and genders differ when it comes to almost everything from the food they cook to the way they speak. I saw this multiple times when it came to me dating white men and a lot of them didn’t understand that there were just certain things that I don’t do and can’t do as a black woman which usually ended up being the reason we broke it off. Another reason I found that different races didn’t work for me was because they had a lifestyle that I could not see for myself in the long run.
My parents then said,”These are just our experiences which is what we base everything off of, our own experiences. We are not experts but we can tell you what we have gone through, how the times have changed, how people then think, and you can tell us how people now think. But don’t ever feel that because these things are the way that they are that you cannot be happy with a person. We are all people, we are going to support you no matter what, but now we are going to give our opinions and tell you what we think because we love you.“ I am absolutely fine with that and I appreciate that now we can be open and have an adult conversation about relationships.
These conversations that I have with my parents are conversations that are going to become more common as time goes on. Again, these are just our experiences we have had and we are not experts. These are things we have talked about to learn and understand one another, but also not to bash anyone else. Hopefully this can spark up a conversation just to share experiences you all have had personally. With that, this ends our conversation with parents part two. I hope you all enjoyed it.Â