Depending on the group, Thanksgiving dinner can be either the best or worst thing to happen to a family all year. As great as visiting with family is, it can easily end in disaster if the wrong topic is introduced. Avoid topics like politics, religion and social issues at all costs. Instead, use these non-controversial discussion topics to keep conversation flowing and the family from fighting.
- The food
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The obvious topic of choice, that often only comes up during the awkward silences, is food. But it doesn’t have to be this way! The food you are eating is the reason that you are all together on Thanksgiving, so why not give compliments to the chef? You can ask who made what, how they made it or what specific ingredients were used. If you’re having dinner with individuals outside of your immediate family, ask if their dish is a family recipe, how they got the idea or if they will share the recipe with you. At the end of the day, the food in front of you is the one connection that you all share at that very moment. Take advantage of it by using it to steer your conversation in a positive direction. And if the end of the conversation is looming, you can always just talk about how full you are before any controversial topics can enter the chat.
- Past Memories
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Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and friends that you have created many memories with. Those memories can be something to reflect on during Thanksgiving because they can bring laughs and smiles to the dinner table. When you and your family run out of conversation starters, try bringing up a fun and sweet memory that they can spend a lot of time chatting about.
In my family, we often bring up stories from when my siblings and I were very young, especially ones from past holiday celebrations. Also, we chat about family members that have passed away to continue their memories and positive impacts they had in our lives. When we do so, we always end up laughing and going on and on for hours about them. I’m always beyond intrigued when my grandma, especially, tells me about her childhood with her parents and siblings, trying to navigate through life together. A lot of what she tells me is equivalent to my own childhood memories with my mom and my siblings.
At the dinner table, we learn something new about each other just by talking about past memories we each have. Some may think it’s sad to talk about people who have passed away in the family, however, I think it just continues their legacy and positive influences that they have made on our lives.
- Celebrity Gossip
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On Thanksgiving, the dinner table conversations always seem to go left when family members start to ask about your personal life. As you go to grab the dinner rolls, that one family member always seems to comment on how much weight you may have gained or lost in college. Or as you sit there with an empty seat next to you, and someone always asks when will you bring someone home for the holidays? It’s almost as if they have nothing to talk about other than you. Usually I would suggest a clapback for the members who are always in your business, however that always ends the dinner earlier than usual.
So, to avoid the dinner ending earlier, there are ways to bring the heat off of you and on to someone else, and what’s better than talking about celebrity gossip. My go-to celebrity is always Kanye West, he’s always doing something out of the ordinary and he has an evolution of music.
Therefore, find a celebrity you always see in the media and try talking about that because it could open up a great discussion – whether it’s about music, a scandal or a new project they are working on. The only celebrity topics I would avoid are talking about political figures because political conversations shouldn’t be a topic at the table.
People are obsessed with celebrity business, so there will be no time wasted to change the dinner conversation and you will be saved from the 21 questions that they want to ask.
So, before you sit down at the table, make sure you have a few celebrities in mind that will get your family talking!
- Black Friday Shopping
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This is the best time of the year to celebrate and be thankful for family and everything you have. Black Friday, however, can be a time of sheer chaos. A good idea can be to share your Black Friday must-haves – from what stores have the best deals to what food is open late. This topic is something that can get the whole family involved and spark lots of conversations. And after dinner’s over you can even clear the table and look through all the insane deals that came in the newspapers. This is even a great conversation for the fans of Cyber Monday. Talk about what your game plan is and even find out if there’s an opportunity to carpool. All in all, you can’t go wrong with this classic topic that will get the whole family sharing.
- New hobbies
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I personally like to be very active and one good way to distract family from asking you about that boyfriend/girlfriend that you don’t have yet is to talk about new hobbies or activities you’ve tried.
Discussing hobbies or activities leads to opportunities for other members of your family to possibly talk about their experiences with whatever you may have found interest in. For example, let’s say you started learning how to sign (ASL) and someone in your family either knows sign language or has interest in learning. This conversation can go in many different ways. It may allow you to share knowledge with one another or to possibly spend more time together because they may want to join you. Hopefully, it’s with a family member you like.
This can also help you learn more about different members but also leads to a lot of stories that start off with “When I was your age…” or “Back in my day…”
It allows you to interact with your family without there being disagreements, since you are just sharing your experience with your hobby. It allows you to also be able to give a short and sweet update about your life without having to go into detail. If anyone asks you about school and your grades, this is a great way to dodge that.
- Life Updates
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It’s inevitable that your friends and family will have questions about what’s new in your life when you get to Thanksgiving dinner. To keep the pressure off more serious topics, you can discuss fun things you’ve done, like recent concerts or movies you enjoyed. Update them about a new partner (but keep it light to avoid a detailed conversation) or a new friend from class. As a college student they’d probably love to hear about how your classes are going, so bring up your favorite ones during dinner! Overall, don’t be scared to shift the conversation to lighter topics. Most people will be secretly glad you did!
- When all else fails… Board Games
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Board games are the fall back plan when there is nothing else to do besides watching the football game and hearing your grandpa yell at the game. Board games can be a hit or miss area when the games aren’t fun or it’s too long of a game – like Monopoly. We all have played that game and when there is time to avoid controversial topics, Monopoly is NOT the way to go.
So, let’s take a look at two games that are full of fun and not controversial at a Thanksgiving dinner.
HeadBandz – This game involves questions, similar to 20 questions, where each person has a card with an animal, food or object placed on a headband to which the person can’t see what they are. The name of the game is to guess what is on your card under a certain amount of time. There are several versions of this game that are either family-friendly or adults-only edition.
Clue – This is my personal favorite game to play with my family or a group of friends. It involves taking turns to guess who did it. It includes different characters such as Mr. Plum, Mr. Mustard, Scarlet and more. There are several locations on the map to “walk to” and ask if someone has a specific card – like Go-Fish. This game makes you wonder who has what cards and who really did it. During the game you kind of have to be secretive in order to win. The name of the game is to figure out what character, weapon and location is in the envelope.
There are plenty more games to play at a Thanksgiving dinner that avoid controversy. These two can be easily worked out and have no fights in between the game. Avoid those awkward dinners with a mix of board games with your family!
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This article was written by Allison Nick, Rebecca Rose, Kianna Goss, Josie Smith, Kaia Wolfe, Morgan Casey and Anna Brandon.