Okay, hear me out! I know tons of people meet online nowadays, and if you follow my writing, you may have even seen me say exactly that in a previous article… and that’s all great! That’s valid! Sometimes, the internet is the best way to connect with someone you might not meet otherwise, so I am in no way discouraging the use of dating apps. But sometimes, dating apps, especially Tinder, can lead to plenty of headaches. One of my very best friends only has tales of tinder heartbreak, only emphasized by another friend of ours’s failed attempts. So as an observer who’s had to guide my friends through this, here’s my advice for you if your time on Tinder has turned out to be more of a horror story than a fairytale.
Step 1: Uninstall Tinder
Yes, I mean uninstall it! Not just offload it. Not just remove it from your home screen. Do not just turn off notifications. And really, I recommend going as far as deactivating your account if you’re ready to take that leap. I know this may seem like a dramatic first step, but it really will be for the best. Look at it this way, if you haven’t had any success after being on Tinder for a while, why are you still on it? And don’t say “Maybe I just haven’t found the right match yet!” because really, it’s more likely that the kind of match you’re looking for isn’t on Tinder, or at least isn’t likely to come across your screen. After all, Tinder has a reputation for being a better place to find a hookup than a husband. If you’re looking for love, don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.
Step 2: Try a Different Dating App
See, I told you to hear me out! I’m not saying to give up on dating apps if you don’t want to. But Tinder isn’t the best of your options. And now, I’m no expert on dating apps, so I’m not the best person to go to for recommendations on which ones you should download. I mean, I’ve heard good things about Hinge and Bumble (which actually proved successful for one of my friends), but I can’t speak from personal experience. Though I think the best thing to do is to look into all the different dating apps out there. They all have different goals and target demographics. Try to find something that appeals to you and what you’re looking to get out of a dating app, or if dating apps are really even the route for you. After all, dating apps aren’t right for everyone, whether that be dating apps in general or just specific ones.
step 3: Have a buddy
Now if you find yourself on some other dating apps (or if you can’t bring yourself to hit uninstall on Tinder), have a friend looking over your shoulder so you don’t get a trigger finger. I get it, dating apps are like exciting online shopping, with such a range of people, any one of whom might just be the one. But they’re not all going to be. And I don’t just mean this in the “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” way. I mean some of your options are genuinely not going to be good. But when you’re swiping through profiles, it either doesn’t feel real, or it feels like every “less than a mile away” is a sign from the universe, a soulmate connection waiting to happen and suddenly, everything’s looking a little blushy, but that’s just the rose-colored glasses, not the actual brand new world view of true love. It’s good to have a friend to take a look at people’s profiles before you swipe right. That way, you have someone whose vision isn’t rose-tinted and as such, can see the red flags for what they are and promptly swipe left.
Step 4: Be open to finding Love iRL
I know the purpose of dating apps is to find love online and meet people you might not naturally get the chance to in person, but you shouldn’t rule out those real-life matches just because some computer program didn’t predict your compatibility. I’m not saying you have to meet someone the old fashion way, but don’t rule it out. There is no techy algorithm to love, so it’s okay if it just happens. Just keep in mind that the person in the seat to your right might be a better match for you than the person you just swiped right on.
step 5: Don’t Force Anything
Remember why you’re on these dating apps in the first place. If you’ve made it through this article, odds are, it’s because you’re looking for a real romantic connection. And a real romantic connection is something that has to come somewhat naturally. If it’s not working out the way you want it to, that’s okay! It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or anything like that. Love takes time and you need to let it take that time. Be patient and don’t settle! I promise you’re not going to be dramatically single for the rest of eternity. Let what will happen, happen. And remember that you are worthy of love, like the kind that makes you uninstall all your dating apps for good. But this time, it won’t be because you got burnt, but because someone set your heart aflame.