Everybody and their mother and their sister (and my grandpa) has been talking about Heated Rivalry recently, so I’m a bit late to the game on this article. But it’s something that has been weighing on my mind.
As someone who REFUSED to watch this series with my parents, I am well aware of the… erotica. Heated Rivalry, especially in the first few episodes, focuses a large amount on physical intimacy, and contains several graphic sex scenes. And a graphic oral sex scene twenty minutes into the first episode sure is a way to grab audiences’ attention. It’s a trademark of the show—not only a huge part of fandom discussion and memes, but also by the actors themselves. Connor Storie and Hudson Williams were well aware that the majority of the audience during their Golden Globes presentation had seen them “well… you know…”. Sorry guys! But the audience also saw Ilya crying in a tunnel over his love for Shane, and Scott’s crippling isolation because he was too afraid to come out of the closet, which is just as important and vulnerable.
I’m not here to ignore the sex. Human sexuality is human sexuality. Being able to participate in consensual and enjoyable sex with a partner of your choice is a human need. Which is why so much of Ilya and Shane’s early interactions focus primarily on the hook-ups they are able to have when their game schedules connect. They each established a safe person for them to be with, and they need to take advantage of that. As closeted public figures in a hyper-masculine sport, it is incredibly dangerous to be themselves (and keep in mind, their relationship begins in 2008. Same sex marriage is legalized in Canada in 2005, and in the US in 2018). By being physically intimate with each other, they are also inherently being emotionally intimate, revealing parts of themselves that no one else knows about. They keep each other safe. The sex scenes also highlight the importance of each action. They are quiet with little to no music, low lighting, things are taken slow (until they’re not). Consent is asked for every step of the way. It demonstrates the weight of what it means to them— and that can be uncomfortable for the viewer sometimes. I definitely felt like I was intruding at points.
What I feel like straight viewers miss about Ilya and Shane’s early relationship, is that it’s “just sex” because it’s all that they were allowed to have. It’s not an overly horny show, it’s the reality of many queer men’ s relationships throughout history. It doesn’t mean that their relationships are less valid or meaningful if they were purely sex based, but it does make me sad that that’s all that was available to them.
We also see as an audience the growing importance of Ilya and Shane’s relationship, and how it impacts them emotionally. Ilya has accepted his queerness, and is comfortable with it (as much as he can be, being a public figure and being a Russian citizen). Shane is filled with anxiety every time that he and Ilya hook up, and even when they’re texting in the locker room. Despite years of steady hook-ups and sexting, and serious feelings developing, Shane freaks out when Ilya asks him to spend the day with him, and leaves. Shane forces himself into a relationship with Rose, despite knowing deep down that he’s gay, and despite his unhappiness being with a woman, it’s Rose who breaks their relationship off, and who helps him come to terms with his sexuality.
Shane realizes that he misses Ilya, and the two men begin to talk again. This time, using their first names. It may be a small detail, but it’s an important one that signifies both men recognizing that their relationship is more important to both of them than sexual release. And in a drug-fueled no-filter haze, Shane asks Ilya “wiiilllll youuuuuu cometomycottagethissummer.” A difficult decision, and one that Ilya says “maybe” to, when he really means “no.” Ilya is now the one who has to consider what accepting a romantic connection with Shane means for his personal life. Russia has no anti-discrimination protections for members of the LBGTQ+ community, and no designations for hate crimes against them. It is also illegal for individuals to “promote homosexuality.” As Ilya says during an argument with Shane, he would never be able to go home again. To come out about his relationship with Shane, Ilya would be forfeiting his right to see his mother’s grave.
There is also the isolation that comes with being queer in this environment. It’s not safe for anyone to know. All Shane and Ilya have is each other, and if they were to come out they would be exposing their very vulnerable selves to a world, and bracing for an unpredictable reaction. We see this in Episode 3 as well, with Scott and Kip’s relationship. Scott is immensely isolated due to being closeted, and his relationship with Kip suffers because of his inability to come out, and his fear of being perceived at all in public. After their breakup, Scott is unable to let Kip go, but equally unable to be public about his affections. Scott still puts on the banana socks that Kip gifted him, but he covers them up with a second layer of plain gray before lacing up his skates. While slightly comedic, it’s also devastating, and is a visual representation of Scott forcing his queerness and his relationship back into the shadows, and it makes him miserable. In the show, we don’t get to see the eventual reconciliation of the two men, but we do know that by the end of Episode 5, the mental toll of being closeted is too great for Scott to handle, and that he has gotten back together with Kip. Scott’s decision to come out is one that has weighed on him for years, and eventually in a moment of extreme success, he seizes the opportunity, kissing Kip on the ice after winning the playoffs against Boston. Again the timing of his coming out shows how much impact Scott’s sexuality will have on his career, even though it doesn’t impact his athletic ability whatsoever. His brave decision to be the first opens the door for other queer athletes in sports, namely Shane and Ilya.
It’s not a slow change at all. Both of the men immediately run out of the room to call each other, realizing what Scott’s visibility as a gay team captain and playoffs champion could mean for their relationship, and Ilya accepts Shane’s invitation to his cottage.
Episode 6 made me ridiculously happy. It’s the first time that we get to see Shane and Ilya truly relaxed, and 100% themselves. Shane’s cottage is isolated, but it is this physical isolation that allows these men to shed any anxieties they may have about themselves, and the outside world. That illusion gets shattered, however, when Shane’s father, David (my goat), shows up unexpectedly and a coming-out is forced.
This is devastating for Shane, who has been lying to his parents for years about his sexuality, determined to keep them happy and keep his image (and brand, as his mother is his manager) clean and consistent. Though the conversation is awkward, his parents accept him and love Shane for who he is. Yuna, his mother, is clearly upset that she made her son feel like he couldn’t talk to her about his sexuality or his relationship, and steps out to cry in the yard. Shane misinterprets this as Yuna being upset that he’s gay, and he goes out to comfort her, and to apologize.
“Mom, I need you to know that I did really try. I tried really hard, but I just can’t help it. I’m sorry.”
This absolutely broke my heart. Every single queer person knows the terror of coming out to someone, a family member, a friend, even a coworker. And even if it’s the best case scenario (which often it’s not) and they fully accept you, there is still that assumption that you failed. That you have changed your relationship with them forever, and only if you could live the heterosexual life they wanted for you, things could have been better. These few simple lines that Shane and Yuna exchange, the way Shane desperately avoids eye contact with his mother, they betray the amount of internalized homophobia that Shane has struggled with for the majority of his adult life, and is still yet to unpack. Even happy in his relationship with Ilya, Shane feels guilty for being who he is.
Shane’s story matters. Ilya’s story matters. They are hot and funny and sexy! And they are also struggling deeply with internalized shame, with mental illness, and the pressures that their lives put on them being seemingly incompatible with the people that they are. They shouldn’t have to choose between the sport that they love and the person that they love, but for their safety, they did. And now, realizing that a life like that is miserable, they’re slowly making compromises that let them be together, and still be accepted in the hockey world. Every queer person that I’ve talked to cried their way through the last few episodes. Scott and Kip’s kiss on the ice, Scott’s speech during the award show, Shane’s conversation with his mother, Ilya and Shane driving off into the sunset together… These touched audiences because athletes being queer in the public eye isn’t something that we got to see growing up. As a swimmer and cross country athlete myself, deciding how open to be about my identity was a delicate balance that took up a considerable part of my brain space during practices and locker room chats. I pushed myself into assimilation, and wished I could be normal, and I’m not the only one.
Recently, Jesse Kortuem, a Minnesota hockey player, came out via a Facebook post, inspired by Heated Rivalry. In his post, he wrote that the sounds of a hockey arena represented “the sound of a place where I felt I had to hide,” and that he spent his youth suppressing his sexuality, not wanting to “stand out” among his teammates, a relationship that he compared to a “brotherhood”. Another story on the ice, Amber Glenn, who identifies as pansexual, was the first openly queer women to compete for the United States in figure skating during the 2026 Olympics, and came out in 2019. Visibly queer people in sports are still freshly emerging, and it garners extreme media attention each time a new athlete comes out. During an era where trans people in sports are scapegoated by the current administration and targeted by various media stories and cruel pieces of legislation, being out as queer is more dangerous and even more important than ever. Media like Heated Rivalry not only expands the definition of what being queer looks like—masculine men can be gay too!— but it also highlights the difficulties adults with established social statuses face when choosing to come out (risking social upheaval), and complex relationships queer people have with their identity and their culture (Ilya being Russian, and Shane being from a mixed Japanese and white household).
On Kinopoisk, Russia’s largest streaming platform, Russian fans got the show to rank in the top 3 shows in the nation, outperforming Stranger Things, despite Russia’s strict anit-LGBTQ propaganda laws. I’m so glad that Jacob Tierny understood how important this story would be for queer audiences around the world, which has truly been demonstrated by its immediate explosive popularity worldwide. Fans want to see more of Hudson and Connor, and more from Shane and Ilya. Here’s to Heated Rivalry Season 2!