I’ve been in college for almost two years, and the one thing people tell you, without fail, is that you’ll learn a lot. And it’s true. I’ve learned how to study; I’ve learned how to live in the same 4×4 square as my roommate. But I’ve also realized that some of the most important things you learn are the things no one talks about.
College is an independent world like young adults have never felt before. With this sudden shift of independence, you learn how to live by yourself on a whole new level. You learn how to go grocery shopping by yourself because you need more food and all of your friends are busy. You make trips to the dining hall and to the library independently. Something I, personally, learned to do alone is go to the gym. As you learn how to be by yourself, you start forming boundaries and learn to rely on yourself.
When you get to college, all the responsibilities of your life start to fall on you alone. You need to remember when your homework is due, while remembering the eight people you need to email, and the seven scholarships you need to complete, all while finding time to complete your portion of the group paper due at midnight. You have to apply for internships and attend meetings and social events. And the worst part of all of it is that no one is going to remind you.
There was a time in my first year when this really hit me hard – that I was the main bearer of all these new responsibilities. I knew I had to cope with this. It’s like when you sign up for DashPass through Doordash for the free trial, but then you forget and it charges you $9.99 when you only have $15.43 in your bank account. In a more complex way, life in college gets you like that. This alarming pressure sets in and you feel like your drowning, but as time goes on it gets easier to manage. You learn to write stuff down in your planner or put in Google Calendar. You will start to set up boundaries so that you can balance it all. You can remember to submit your paper, do your laundry, finish the decorations for your club meeting, and have time to hang out with your friends on Friday night.
I’ve seen these boundaries formed in several ways in myself and my friends. For example, you say no to the hangout because you know you won’t do homework you’ll talk the entire time. You’ll go to bed instead of watching another episode because you know you need enough sleep to function in your three hour lab the next day. And by saying no to plans on a Tuesday, you can hang out all weekend. I’ve seen people stop taking their laptop into their bed, making it a rule that they only use time in bed to recharge. College students love to take walks around campus to clear their heads and the gym is always packed. I have friends who do nothing but homework Monday through Wednesday, so the rest of their week doesn’t have to be filled with the stress of an upcoming deadline. A lot of these things happen so naturally you don’t even realize it. These boundaries help you prioritize your school work, promote good mental and physical health, and help balance responsibilities.
All while you’re setting up boundaries, the emotional downpour of high school starts to fade. In high school, every day feels catastrophic. In college, you’ll have some of your most stressful days, and it won’t feel as overwhelming as high school did. I used to think every day was the end of the world, as most high schoolers do. But college really teaches you that it’s just a bad day, not a bad life. The sadness doesn’t feel forever because you know you’ll get over it and persevere because you did it in high school.
College also reminds you to cherish every moment because time flies. Every day I look through my camera and mourn that this won’t be forever. I’ve learned to enjoy every moment, and I’ve stopped wishing the days away as I did in high school. I’d rather stand still in a stressful week than hope for the end of the semester. You only get one year in your iconic freshman dorm. You only get two years of the on-campus experience. You only get one semester of your favorite class. The way it flies so fast is a reality check that life goes fast. College has taught me to enjoy everyday even the hard ones.
I’ve only been in college for two years, and it’s already shaped the way I’ve set boundaries and focused on myself. While I’ve learned how to teach small children and how to create lesson plans, these unexpected lessons are just as important.