“I want you to notice how you feel. Take a moment to give thanks to yourself for choosing this practice, and for challenging yourself to find what feels good.”
I’m sitting on my dorm floor with a squishy foam mat underneath me, my hands pressed together over my heart, and I’m still for the first time today.
It’s 11pm. The moonlight shines faintly through the slits of my blinds, casting a glow over my body.
“Now, three deep breaths, inhale love in, exhale love out.”
My lungs expand in my chest, growing like a flowering bud. I then imagine snuffing out a match as I empty them.
“Again, breathe deep, feel the four corners of your chest and then let it all out.”
I repeat the breathwork, imagining my worries melting off of my shoulders.
My laptop screen glows bright with a lean woman with shiny brown hair and a fluffy dog on a yoga mat shining within its frame. Her words flow out of her lips gently, and the dog’s tail brushes her bare feet.
“Last time,” she states. “Inhale all the love in…exhale all the love out.”
I do as she says.
“Thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me in practice today. My hope is that you all feel as relaxed and ready for bed as I do. I know Benji is more than ready to hit the hay,” she motions to the dog. “Be good, stay true, and namaste.” The outro music plays.
I shut my laptop. Life is chaotic, but yoga is good.
Since coming to college, I have made it a goal to work on being true to myself, protecting my inner peace, and changing old habits to foster a more gentle environment. With the increased amount of free time I have during the weeks, I have been trying to fill it with unfulfilling activities like scrolling on my phone, procrastinating school work, and complaining. It feels like the only time I get to myself is the walk in between classes, standing under the hot stream of the shower, and when I put my headphones on to listen to my music. Autopilot kicked in once I fell back into the routine of school and I hated it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a stable routine, yet it felt as if I wasn’t living for myself. It felt like I was living to get through each day, anticipating the next with unbridled anxiety. I needed to snap out of it ASAP. Trust me when I say I listen to my mother and my therapist, I know all of the tips and tricks to get out of autopilot, but I had no motivation to actually do so. I knew I had to start small, and what’s smaller than a 10-minute yoga video on Youtube? Pulling out my mat may be the hardest activity of the day, but man, do I feel absolutely amazing after I do so.
Take a Moment for yourself every day
Yoga has become my constant amidst the craziness of life. Whether I sit down for a full hour or do a quick stretch, I make sure I set aside some time to devote myself to yoga each day. The effects have been amazing on my mental and physical well-being. My favorite yogi is Adriene Mishler, her Youtube channel is “Yoga With Adriene.” It’s not hard to speak softly and encouragingly, but Adriene has a sparkle to her that I have yet to find with any other creators on Youtube. The addition of her very furry friend, Benji, makes the video all the better. Her wide variety of videos apply to all aspects of life you could ask for: “Yoga for Depression”, “Wind Down for Bed With Me”, “Good Morning Stretch”, and “Yoga for Healing”. If there’s one thing you take away from this article, it is that you should find something small you can do each day to breathe and take a moment for yourself. After you do the first thing, add another, then another, and soon enough, you are living intentionally and adding purpose back into your day instead of floating through on autopilot.
Control the controllables
In addition to yoga, my therapist said something recently that has been helping me work through life. She said, “You’re never going to understand why others do what they do. You can only understand how you react to them.” Listening to this sentiment has been SO helpful, and I have chosen to turn inward and work through my reactions instead of going outward and trying to “fix” others while dealing with situations in college. Everything is so weird right now, in terms of change, the unknown, and finding myself, and I craved stability in people/things that weren’t benefitting me at all. I realized that I needed to find stability in things I could control, like yoga, writing, reading, and taking care of myself. In turn, my thought processes have changed to not be programmed to immediately worry about what others say/think/do. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to unlearn. We are conditioned to be aware of how others perceive us, and we’re told from the beginning that we should worry about it! It’s wholly not true though. You are allowed to be whoever you want and shouldn’t give a damn about what others think. If someone doesn’t like you, that is their prerogative, not your problem. It just doesn’t matter- but you and your inner peace do.
Find your thing and go with iT, Nothing else matters
Lastly, I have been trying to decrease the amount of complaining I do and focus on gratitude instead. If it is not in my power to fix the situation, I allow room for frustration and then let it go. The quicker you choose to let your frustrations go, the quicker you will overcome them and the quicker you will find something else to be grateful for. For instance, I found after coming to college where party culture is much more prevalent, I would catch myself getting upset/feeling left out and insecure after swiping through Snapchat stories of everyone out and having fun. Whether in the moment on a Saturday night, or the next morning, the continuous cycle of feeling left out was wearing on me. I decided to make a pact to myself to not look at social media first thing in the morning and to remind myself of my purpose when looking through stories on a Friday or Saturday evening. I am a big fan of movie nights with friends and even though I’m having the best time staying in, I still used to feel like I’m missing out. This is all something else I’ve needed to unlearn- you don’t have to go out every night to “get the college experience.” The college experience is subjective to each person in school and can be defined in other ways than just going out. I am grateful for my family dinners and movie nights with my friends because they are what make me happy and feel fulfilled. Find what feels good and get rid of what doesn’t. If Snapchat doesn’t make me feel good, I am going to stop using it plain and simple- yet still difficult. If Instagram doesn’t make you feel good, delete the app! All of this is strengthening your discipline and contributing to your inner peace. I believe in you.
I am writing this article to challenge you to take care of your inner peace. I am writing this article to hold myself accountable. I am writing this article to help you get out of autopilot and to start living with purpose again. Find your happiness and your peace, and get rid of anything that stands in your way.
“Be good, stay true, and namaste.”