The end of the school year is approaching fast and it has me feeling particularly reflective. This year has been extremely instrumental in me figuring out who I am, what I love, and where I want the future to take me. I’ve learned more about myself within the past two semesters than I feel I ever have.
When the fall semester started, I still felt a little lost on what I was doing. I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome for years, and the closer I got to my degree made it worse. How was I ever supposed to be mature enough to have a real big girl job and be responsible for helping patients?
This school year, I chose to declare a second major in Sociology. It scared me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to further my education with a dual degree (I’m also a Psychology major). My classes have confirmed my belief that Psychology is my passion in life, and I know that I’m in the right field which is so relieving. I’ve begun my grad school search to complete my doctorate degree and while it’s stressful, I am so thankful to be in this position. There are so many others who want to be in my position more than anything, and realizing that has truly changed my life.
I’m involved with a handful of organizations on campus and they have been vital to my discovery of myself. Her Campus specifically has helped me in ways I don’t even know how to explain. It has given me a sense of community and belonging that I didn’t even know I was missing. I feel like no matter what, I have support from the girls in this organization and watching them all succeed in their journeys makes me want to succeed even more. I think joining the organization this year has been crucial for me and my growth, and I could not be more thankful.
I also run social media for another organization on campus (Undergraduate Psychology Association) and that was also extremely important to my growth throughout the year. I had responsibilities, deadlines, as well as an outlet for my creativity.
Apart from my involvement in organizations, I feel like this year has made me mature so much. I think I’ve always been pretty mature and responsible, but these past two semesters have helped me fully accept and embrace that. I’ve told people for years that I feel like I stopped aging at seventeen and that I’ll never feel any older than that. I still feel like a teenager, but I’ve also really started feeling like I’m getting into the swing of my twenties.
As I’ve done more self reflecting this year, I’ve found myself overwhelmed with the feeling of gratefulness. I’ve had this conversation with a few people before, but I just find it so lucky that the universe allowed me to be where I am, who I am, and what I am. Academically speaking, I never thought I would be in this spot. I’m a first generation student, the daughter of an immigrant, and am navigating my way through college on my own. I am truly my family’s wildest dream, and more so my own.
My personal growth is something that I wake up everyday extremely proud of. If one year ago you told me that I was doing things that I love, spending time with people who mean the world to me, and making steps toward my future every day… I’m not sure I would have believed you. I was in one of those slumps; the ones where you don’t even know you’re in them until you’re out of them. I had no idea that I was feeling so down about myself until I started healing this past semester.
This has been an amazing year for me. I’ve had my ups and downs, and have gone through things I would’ve preferred not to. In the end, all my recent experiences have led me to where I am today: happy, carefree (mostly), and optimistic for the future. It’s been a long time since I felt hopeful for what the future will bring. It’s a great feeling, and something I wish for everyone to feel.
Your hard times will not last forever. The emotions suck right now, but they’ll get better and you’ll learn to be okay with them. It is so, so important to remember that no one has it all figured out right now. We are all going through something and just trying our best. Don’t feel like you’re “behind” or “not doing enough”. Your best is enough and all that anyone can ask for. Growth is right around the corner and it is so special.
This is likely my last article for this school year, so I feel a little sad to be writing this one. My junior year of college has changed my life in the best way possible. All the girls in Her Campus have been leaders in my self discovery and people I will hold dearly forever. The closing of this year is so bittersweet, and I’d be lying if I said I was excited for my senior year. Truth is, I don’t want these experiences to end. The passing of time is relentless, and all I can do is enjoy where I am now. It’s all any of us can do!
Here’s to my junior year, the end of the semester (good luck on finals), the summer, next school year and everything life brings after that.