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Away With the Silent Treatment, Roomie! How to Discuss Roomate Issues

Picture this: It's midterm season. Assignment and exam stress has reached an all-time high, and the last thing you want is tension in a place you call home. You have no energy to address the dirty dishes that are constantly in the sink, even though you and your Roomie had agreed to always clean after yourselves, and now, even the toilet and shower that hasn't been cleaned for a while, because Roomie has no time to do so, but somehow always has time to host a group of friends who make noise during your studying time.

You just have no energy in you to talk about this, but it's eating you up and disturbing your mental peace, which is highly required for the exams and assignments you think you are preserving it for. Does this sound like you and what you are going through lately? Well, here is some advice from someone who has been through it!

So, you are probably thinking, what are you gonna do? Do you let it go for the time being and start acting weird towards Roomie? You are, after all, concentrating on your assignments and exams. No, I think not. You shouldn't just let it go, but here are two main things you should do instead.

How to address "roomie" issues:

1. Address issues immediately

Address it immediately if you want to have mental peace. Talking about things takes less energy than you swelling up inside with bitter feelings - the least that it requires is bravery, just to start the conversation.
Then, after you release two to three words out of your mouth, the rest will seem to happen naturally.

2. StArt asking how your roomie is doing

Also, start asking how your roomie is doing and what they are going through. This way you can get a better understanding as to why chores are being neglected and not being done as you both agreed. You never know, your Roomie may be going through a lot, and maybe they didn't want to talk to you about it unless you asked. For example, she might have lost a loved one, she might be failing at school and feels like the world is ending, or she is just unaware of the importance you attach in carrying things out as agreed. Whatever it may be, it needs to be talked about.

I can hear you say, "Well why doesn't she just say so?" All I can say is, this is affecting you negatively right? Right. Then you need to be the bigger person. You will see, you will starting feeling one load lighter after being respectful and talking objectively about the things that are affecting you with people, specifically your Roomie in this case. Your Roomie may not cooperate by coming up with a counter argument, which leads to a spat and fight, but keep your calm, be objective and try to get to an amicable solution. If she chooses to not listen to you and is being disrespectful to you, then that's on her. You have done your part. At least she knows where you stand.

Kuhle Mbawu

Bowling Green '24

I do what makes me happy 😊. I try to treat people right. I fight for what's just. I am curious enough to know bits & pieces about a lot of things & I love doing the various outdoor activities.
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