5 Things Never to Say To a Bisexual Person

September 23 is Bisexuality Visibility Day. Throughout the years, I have encountered so many toxic and incorrect stereotypes, and boy, do they get under my skin. All these hurtful judgments of people who identify as this orientation have been thrown around for years and it gets tiring. Bisexuals always feel as if they need to explain themselves to feel like they can fit into a mold society wants them to be. Everyone was born to stand out, and trying to shove someone in a tiny little filter-bubbled box. So I, you’re local fed-up bisexual, am about to take you on a nice little journey on some of the things people in this sexual orientation deal with on a daily basis.

1.If you’re bisexual, that means you’re more likely to cheat

Absolutely not. Whoever came up with this stereotype…I just want to talk. The amount of people who have run in fear of talking to me romantically due to this nice little quote. In no way, shape, or form is anyone’s sexual preference to blame for their promiscuity. That decision is 100% made of their own free will and has no correlation to their sexual identity. We live in long, monogamous relationships all the time and are absolutely thriving in them. So this tidbit can sashay away.

2. You can’t be gay if you’re dating someone of the opposite gender.

 The gender identity of a bisexual person’s partner does not mean they are any less bisexual than they already are. It has been shown by numerous anonymous surveys that prior to getting into any relationships, a person knows they’re bisexual. There’s no magical wand that makes things go 50/50 on whether or not a person likes guys or girls. Truly, there is no written book stating how us bisexuals need to behave. We all are just trying to figure out things as we go on in life.

3. Bisexuals are not as oppressed as gay men or lesbians.

This standpoint is seen as a way to not only pit different communities against each other, but also shows that there is a lack of knowledge or understanding of what being a bisexual in today’s society really is. It has been commonly shown that even some people within the LGBTQ+ community feel annoyed by those who are bisexual because they have that “heterosexual privilege” or are deemed as “half-straight”. However, we struggle to really fit in anywhere. It feels like we are too straight to be within the LGBTQ+ community at times, but straight society ostracizes us due to the faint idea that we still are attracted to people of our same gender. Biphobia is alive and well, and we as a group don’t like to hide our identities any more than anyone else in the gay communities might. We all are trying to stick together and care for one another while learning new things about each orientation. So, please stop pitting us all against each other. 

4. You’re not really gay, you’re just faking it and want attention.

This myth is one that makes it so difficult for bisexuals to even want to come out of the closet. Going back to the whole “but you’re dating someone of the opposite gender” statement: if you also throw this in someone who tries to uphold this sexuality, this person may actually implode on themselves. Don’t do it. Don’t assume we just want attention. Get that thought and that dialogue out of your mind. I remember crying my eyes out the first time I had came out as bisexual due to all of the hateful and rude comments of me just wanting attention because I had always wanted to be popular in high school. People’s words and harsh criticism made me regret even saying anything to anyone about how I had been feeling. I know I am not alone in this feeling, people most likely are going through it almost everyday. The most heartbreaking thing is– by the time you’re done reading this article numerous queer youths may have gone through it.

5. Bisexuals are transphobic.

This final stereotype is yet another attempt made to pit parts of the LGBTQ+ community against each other. Our close but very different brothers, sisters, and non-binary friends who identify as pansexual are attracted to men, women, and people who might identify as trans. Sometimes people mix the two up and that’s okay. But what’s not okay is assuming that we have a vendetta against transgender people. When you’re a part of this community, we foster nothing but endless support to those who identify as different orientations or identities. We all have different battles in life, and if anything we want to make sure our transgender friends are all feeling safe, welcomed, and accounted for in any event they may come to. The vast fluidity between the different counterparts of these various subcommunities is what brings all of us together. Political and religious standpoints try their best to make us all seem as if we are fighting against one another and love putting words in everyone’s mouths. And believe it or not, some transgender people are also bisexuals– and I find that pretty sweet!

To wrap everything up, bisexuals are people too. We bleed red, we have feelings, and we have our own struggles just like any other human being on the planet. This isn’t a post saying we have it so bad and we want your sympathy– however it’s just more of a survival guide of what not to say to someone who may open up to you about possibly being bisexual. It is a lot more common than you think, actually. As a matter of fact, some famous bisexual celebreties are Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Shane Dawson, David Bowie, and Kesha! At the end of the day, love who you want to love. Love has no boundaries, and everyone deserves to have a chance at it– no matter what their orientation is.