I doubt I’m the only girl that texted/called her mother upon learning of Nora Ephron’s death. Ephron’s movies were a part of my education, another way for my mother to illustrate “real love”–not based on lust, but genuine connection.
 Though my parent’s difficult divorce could have compelled my mother to imbue me with a distrust of men and romance, she instead taught that I should value those people who value me. Looking back, the most prominent Mom-isms are inextricably linked with Ephronisms.
These lessons manifested themselves as oft repeated strands of wisdom: “Daisy, if someone really loves you they will get in their car and drive halfway across the country to see you,” or “Daisy, when it’s right it will be easy.” (I know that these two dictates sound like they would be at odds with one another, but she is insistent on both counts…’Sleepless in Seattle’ agrees.)Â
Of course, one need look no further than the worn white corners of a VHS cover to know how these tropes were reinforced. As my mom stood at the ironing board, or laid out squares of fabric, I shoved my cell phone a little further behind the couch cushions and forgot about the calls that did or didn’t come.
Already this summer I’ve seen previews for movies like ‘Safety Not Guaranteed’ and ‘Seeking A Friend For The End of The World.’ The main characters of these films seek out companionship for extraordinary circumstances–which is fodder for a great plot. But Ephron’s characters always sought companionship for the events of daily life, and therein was their charm.
Someone to have a cold with, to play charades with, with which to enjoy New York City in the fall. Who knew that Ephron’s work would be the equivalent of Baby Einstein for a starry-eyed adolescent? I return to her films again and again when I need to be reminded of the extraordinary ordinariness of love.Â
Love isn’t some surplus pepper in your paprikash to agonize over, it’s a delicious slice of pecan pie. Enjoy it in Ephron’s memory–and save a bite for mom!