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Daniel Dickstein tells it like it is….on College Relationships Over the Summer

Summer.  It’s a time to relax, enjoy the sun, and return home.  You see your family and reconnect with your old friends.   Summer is an amazing fabulous season…but sometimes in can pose problems.  One of those problems is college relationship statuses.

What do you do over the summer if you are in a relationships? Do you stay together?  Do you go into an open relationship for the summer?  Do you just end things for good?  There are many different situations surrounding what one does. 

Obviously if you are already dating and pretty serious, then you should probably stay together over the summer and make an effort.  At the same time, if you aren’t “anything” meaning that there are not feelings attached and the relationship hasn’t developed into anything than maybe you should end things for the summer.   However, it becomes complicated when it is a “pretty” serious relationship. 

1. First off there are many things to consider, how serious is this relationship and how much do you like this person?  If you are planning on being together after the summer than you may have to make it work over the summer.  You can’t expect to not be together with someone and then just have everything pick up the way it left off.  Feelings change in three months and people meet new people. 

2. What if your partner has someone at home—such as an ex or someone from a pervious relationship?  Do you trust him/her to be a good girl/boy and keep his/her hands to himself/herself?  I don’t know…you tell me and tell yourself.  I am sure you want to think that it will be all be “hunkie dorie”, but sometimes you have to accept the truth.  At the same time, if you end things, you will never know what would have happened if you stayed together.  You TRULY don’t know and maybe you have to stay together to see what happens.

3. How does one sustain a relationship from so far away?  Texts and phone calls aren’t the same as lying next to someone or talking to someone in person.  You have to consider if you truly stay with this person with basically technology at your fingertips.  Sometimes talking and skyping may make you miss your partner even more and upset you.  You may not be able to handle the long distance relationship and may have to go on a break. 

4. Is visiting an option?  What if it is too costly or just not possible because of work hours?  This could also complicate things because being without someone for 3 months straight is kind of a long time!

Some possibilities include going in an open relationship and to/not to tell the other person everything (or everyone) you are “doing” over the summer.  Sometimes open dialogue can make a connection stronger or sometimes some things are better left unsaid and unknown—it is up to you and your partner to decide.  You can also try staying together and then if the relationship doesn’t work out then that is okay and you end it for the time being.  Maybe it didn’t work out because sustaining a long distance relationship is hard (if the relationship ended for other more serious reasons then it was meant to be DONE-ZO).  Do not go into the summer expecting to end the relationship.  Go in with hope and love.

Obviously the summer is a long time period, but it is only 3 months in the bigger scheme of things.  Imagine not being with someone for 3 months while you are at home or imagine not being with that same person for 9 months while that person is literally around the corner from you at college.  If you don’t stay together over the summer you may never be able to be back together!  There are lots of things to consider!  Just follow your feelings and heart and you’ll know what to do!

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