Dear Emily:
My housing situation for next year is really bad – I’m not really living with my close friends and I’m pretty far off campus. I know the lottery is over and I can’t change anything but do you have any advice on how to live in less than perfect housing conditions??
Signed,
Stranded at the North Pole, literally
Housing is the most bizarre aspect of college life: never again will you be expected to go to class, live, sleep and eat with the same group of people. The question of whether or not you could stand living with even your closest friend in a forced triple isn’t one the normal adult has to make, and it certainly isn’t one faced before college. The issue of living more than 10 minutes away from anywhere you want to go isn’t an issue at all when you have an entire city or town to explore, and after college we would never even consider that less than a mile of difference or who your roommates are could change your entire friend group and social scene. While we have to address the questions of who we think we could live best with in order to keep ourselves sane in such close-quarters, the rest of these problems shouldn’t really bother us. Yes, we spend a lot of time with the people we live with and you don’t want to be uncomfortable in your own living space ever, but housing in no way determines anything more than where you sleep at night.
Polar bear: “Hey guys, I found our Brunswick forced triple…”
Cub: “At least its not a Chambo double.”
To address your first concern, not living with your close friends does not mean that they won’t still be your close friends. Your friend group stays together because of how much fun you have when you go out, the conversations you have at dinner and how much you all care about each other – not because your beds are all in the same room or on the same floor. If your friends are the kind of friends you want to have, I’m sure you’ll always have an open invitation to their living space, and vice versa. Take them up on that invitation! While you may sometimes feel left out for some reason or another as a result of not living with them, don’t take out your frustration by not going home with them when they ask you to. Sitting in your room alone won’t make you happy, and it certainly won’t help maintain your friendship. You can also try to make yourself feel like part of their room by pitching in when they do roommate-y things, like cook or even clean.
I don’t know if any of your friends will be living in social houses and you won’t, or vice versa, but the above apply to them as well! While social houses can definitely act like a family or a friend group, everyone in all of the houses have friends that live outside of it that they spend a lot of time with. Though social houses have some events that are intended for house-members only, there’s no harm in becoming their most active affiliate at campus-wides or other house events. Hanging out with the new friends your friends are sure to make through their houses, or introducing your friends to your new housemates, will also help expand your friend group.
As to living far off campus, we go to Bowdoin! Our housing facilities are pretty much amazing and the absolute longest walk you may have to encounter is never anything a good ipod playlist or a bicycle couldn’t make very enjoyable. As much as a ten-minute walk can be annoying in the Maine winters (or when your housing doesn’t have laundry facilities, like mine…), it’s definitely worth it to make the trip to campus for meals and parties. Best way to avoid being stranded because of how far you are away from campus – stay on campus! The second you hear yourself make the excuse “but it’s so far…” think about what’s more important to you, the couple minutes spent walking or what you may be missing. Don’t forget about the safe ride option in bad weather… or whenever you’re feeling a little lazy. It also doesn’t hurt to plan ahead when you leave for your day… and invest in a big backpack. Think you might go to the gym later? Bring your sneakers with to campus so you won’t be dissuaded later by the effort of going home and coming back again. (Ooor tell yourself you can skip the gym because you walk so much!) Same goes for wearing an outfit to dinner that can nicely transfer to a party on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night.
While it may get hard to get used to people not being so inclined to visit you at your room, your social patterns will adjust accordingly in no time. There’s no housing problem a little planning and effort can’t fix pretty quickly. As much as you may feel like you’ll be isolated from campus by your distance or proximity to your close friends, if you’re anywhere within the realm of Brunswick you’re still very included and welcome here at the North Pole!