How much do you know about dating violence? Many of us are familiar with the concept… Rihanna and Chris Brown being the go-to celebrity example.
On the other hand, many college women may not be as familiar with the plethora of nonphysical signs and cues that can characterize unhealthy relationships.
“An abusive relationship is when one partner is controlling the other, monitoring who they are talking to, where they’ve been, and who they’re with. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Trying to manipulate others to do things they don’t want is abuse, too,” said Sage Bielenburg, a freshman on the Boise State campus.
The Women’s Center provides Boise State students with very useful information and resources pertaining to dating violence and abusive relationships. The Red Flag Campaign is one such resource to refer to when in doubt about your relationship. The following are some classic signs of an abusive or unhealthy relationship:
- You are afraid to break up with your partner
- You feel tied down by your partner
- You are afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects
- You tell yourself if you just try harder and love your partner enough, everything will be ok
- You find yourself crying a lot, are depressed, or unhappy
- You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy
Abuse or violence can take many forms, whether it be verbal, physical, or emotional. A wide range of behaviors fall into these categories.
Physical signs of abuse may include hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, kicking, hair-pulling, forcing physical or sexual contact.
Verbal or emotional abuse may take the form of name-calling, putting-down, or constantly blaming your partner.
One of the greatest red flags pertaining to abusive relationships is your partner telling you who you can and can’t hang out with, or what to wear. Abusive partners may seek to control every aspect of their partner’s life, often resulting in isolation from their other friends and family. Abusive partners may also be prone to mood swings and substance abuse.
Individuals in doubt about their relationships should talk to Health Relationships Peer Educators through the Boise State Women’s Center. The Women’s Center also offers bystander intervention workshops to promote a safe and healthy environment across campus, and not just in the context of private relationships.
For more information, visit the Women’s Center in the Student Union Building or visit their web page.