Some of us aren’t as brave as others. Not everyone can walk in to a bathroom and get their business done at the drop of a dime. I admit that I get a little nervous sometimes. You all know what I am talking about: being poop shy. Don’t laugh! It is a real problem for many of us. For this reason, I have taken the time to compile a list of the best placees to go on campus. Here’s the ranking:
6. Recreation Center
The best place in the REC is to go upstairs by the rock-climbing will. Yeah, the one in the back corner near the group exercise room. Most people don’t even know that bathroom exists! It also has a great high-tech hand-dryer system.
5. Interactive Learning Center
You would think that the fourth floor restroom would be the place to be, but no. For some strange reason: IT’S ALWAYS BUSY! Rather, go to the third floor. It’s the perfect spot for a tranquil break in between classes.
4. Norco Building
The Norco building is a prime place to go because half of the student body doesn’t know where the entire building is, let alone a bathroom in the building. Go upstairs to the second floor for extra security. The soap in that building smells extra nice for some reason. Bonus: grab a condom on the way out – they’re free!
3. Library
Find the bathroom near the librarian’s offices on the second floor. It is ALL the way in the back, so students rarely use it. It’s great because the whole section has one stall. There are no awkward crevices and therefore no possibility of running into any peeping Toms.
2. Student Union Building
Although not always the most viable option for privacy’s sake, it is by far the most convenient. Most student activity is on the first floor, so head to the second when you gotta go! My favorite bathrooms are the ones located next to the Jordan Ballrooms and behind the SILC.
1. Education Building
Floors 2-7 have unisex restrooms. These are the best spots on campus. Why? Because they are single bathrooms that LOCK! The toilets don’t have autoflush, meaning you won’t be interrupted by a random flush before you are finished. You get an entire room to yourself AND a full-length mirror. Yes, a full length mirror. You don’t have to do that awkward step-back to check yourself in the mirror and no one is there to gawk at your awkwardness. This place is great because if by chance your bathroom of choice is occupied, just head one floor up and you’re good to go! (Get it???)