In recent days, the article “To the Girl Who Dreams of Her Future Career More Than Her Future Children,” flooded the Internet. Though this article led to some controversial thoughts. Do you really have to dream about one more than the other? We personally dream about both.
Between the two of us we have full college schedules, a job at a restaurant, a job with a catering company, and assist in the deans office. So, we work hard day in and day out not only as a college student but dependable employees.
Kate—dreams of being a Fox Sports Correspondent for ESPN, Blaire—an Audiologist in a world renounced hospital. But where we share similarities in our future is that among our goal to be successful, working women and to achieve the careers we’ve worked so hard for, we also dream of getting married, moving into a new house, making it a home, having babies, and to raise them along with the loves of our lives.
After reading this article, we reached out to women in our lives for their opinions on the topic. We asked the questions, “Do you think it is “unfair” to think of your career/future children more than the other one?” To which we got a variety of responses, though when coming to the true conclusion of all of them, near everyone said it is not unfair to think about one more than the other. Some women explaining how this is dependent on the stage you are in within your life. If you’re a student, perhaps you are thinking about your career more, but down the road, this may be offset (happily) by children. But this does not mean that because we are women we must choose children over our career—we can’t assume that.
We also asked, “Do you think about one more than the other?” We had a few individuals respond, “No,” meaning they must think equally about both. Those that responded with “yes,” explained themselves very similarly. The two subjects, children and careers “do not have to be mutually exclusive.” Depending on the life stage you are in, you may be thinking about one more than the other. As college students, we may be thinking about our future careers more in depth being that within a matter of years, we will be in the work force. But some admit to thinking about their career in terms of “flexibility,” knowing that in the future, they want to play the role as mom too.
Lastly, we asked, “Do you HAVE to be completely dedicated to one over the other,” The responses to this question were all “no’s” but the in which friends explained themselves was amazing. “I know a lot of working moms.” “I am a mom and I have a job I love. I could leave my job tomorrow, but I couldn’t leave my kids…” Many discussed the balance between the two, that a good job in return, allows you to support your family. You don’t HAVE to think about one more than the other, but dedicate time to ensuring both are okay. “When you are at work, the focus should be there. But when you are outside work, your focus needs to be on family.”
There are many women in both of our professions who balance both work and families. Professors, working as both educators, practicing Audiologists, all the while having a family of their own. Or, Samantha Sainte-Claire Ponder, a reporter and host for ESPN who travels for work while still maintaining a family life and her two year old daughter.
The article we read just weeks ago based her thoughts off saying, “[God] did not intend my sole purpose on this earth as a women to be, to cook, clean, and reproduce…” “…There is a little spitfire. She’s going to change the world one day.” Well, why can you not be that “change in the world in both your career AND your role as a parent. We promise to be that change in both aspects.
We feel that we are often told to choose, that you play one role in this life. Or, that we need to focus on ourselves. But what kind of life is that? If you live that way you have no one to celebrate the success in your career with; children and spouse.
Life can be stressful, exciting, meaningful, upsetting, thrilling, but nonetheless, short.
Working towards career goals is admirable. But we want to have those special people in our lives that celebrate successes with us. Although everyone has different ideals of success we don’t think having children while having a career is a failure. No one has it all, this we know for certain. However, if all these hopes and dreams work together like a well-oiled machine, then you will have a potentially very happy AND prosperous life.
So, “To the Girl Who Dreams of Her Future Career More Than Her Future Children;” no, it will not be easy, but it will always be worth it.