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The Five Stages of Bombing Your Test

STAGE 1: PANIC

Panic is the first thing felt after you leave the class room knowing that you just bombed a test. Some post test side-effects are dizziness, the feeling you’re going to blow chunks before you make it out of the building, and worst of all the racing thoughts of how this one test is going to make you fail out of school, never to return again with a million dollars of loans to pay, with no education forcing you to mooch off your parents for the rest of your life.

 

STAGE 2: CONVINCING YOURSELF YOU DIDN’T DO THAT BAD

This stage is for telling yourself that you’re just over reacting. It’s also when your simple math skills come in handy. You start thinking in your head, “So there was 10 questions on the test, I knew 3 of the answers right away and 2 more could have been completely right if I guessed correctly. Oh and if she gives partial credit I could totally come out with at least a 60 so I don’t have to live with my parents forever!”

STAGE 3: KNOWING YOU’RE SCREWED

You come back to reality after convincing yourself you did fine on a test you knew three out of the ten questions (which was worth 100 points BTW) you just accept that you’re screwed, maybe shed some tears, and feel bad for yourself that you now have no future.

STAGE 4: PRAY FOR HELP

Although you know you’re screwed you don’t lose hope, you start praying to whoever wants to help you out in this time of need. You pray that everyone else did badly so maybe there will be a curve, or that the teacher will lose the test and never make you take it again, and for the best thing that could possibly happen… it was all just be a NIGHTMARE that you will soon wake up from.

STAGE 5: IT IS WHAT IT IS

You have been on an emotional roller coaster for hours and your day has been completely ruined, but you have finally found peace with yourself after murdering your test. You realized there’s nothing you could do about the past, it is what it is, and that you’ll get ’em next time.

Junior at Bloomsburg University! Majoring in Mass Communications with a track in Public Relations and minoring in Sociology.
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