On social media, I constantly see posts and comments saying “When did Asians get so hot?” or “He’s really attractive for an Asian.” While at the surface these comments may seem like compliments, there is an underlying snideness and racism to them. Being a Vietnamese American, I find these comments very offensive, even if there are good intentions behind them, and I am sure other people of color face this same discrimination too.
When we give backhanded compliments like “He’s really attractive for an Asian,” we insinuate that people of that race or ethnicity are usually unattractive and that it is unlikely for someone of that race to be good looking. Even though these comments compliment the appearance of the person it is targeted at, these comments insult the rest of that person’s racial group at the same time.
But why do we assume people of color are unattractive? Why are we so shocked when we see an attractive non-caucasian person? Time and time again, I have noticed that we hold white people and people of color to different standards of beauty. We use European features to define someone as being beautiful or handsome. Why are small, button noses viewed as cute and attractive? Why do we prefer large eyes to small, hooded ones?
Sentiments like these pressure people of color into getting cosmetic surgery, which is extremely popular in Asia. We even saw this emphasis of European-based beauty standards in the 2017 FaceApp controversy, where the “hot” feature on the app, which was meant to “beautify” users, just made users look whiter and have more European facial features. Incidents like these are recognized by most people as being obviously wrong, but why do we still use these European features to define our perceptions of beauty?
As the daughter of two immigrants, I should feel completely proud of my heritage, ethnicity, and race. However, sometimes I do find myself standing in front of the mirror, wishing that I had bigger eyes, a smaller nose, and could somehow lose my hooded eyelids. But I have come to realize that there is no clear definition of beauty. Beauty does not have a certain face shape, eye placement, or nose size. Beauty depends on your confidence, energy, personality, and more – not your race.
We need to stop using racially prominent features to define how attractive a person is and become more accepting of different variations of beauty instead. If we continue to use European features and whiteness as our beauty standards, we will grow more intolerant as a society and promote more unhealthy beauty habits and perceptions. Therefore, the next time you see an attractive person of color on your Instagram feed or on your TikTok For You Page, don’t think about how attractive they are for a person of that race – just admire how attractive they are. Period.