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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Struggles of Being a College Girl: Making the First Move

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bentley chapter.

There seems to be a preconceived and outdated notion that guys must always make the first move. Although it is totally fine to wait and there is nothing wrong with a guy making the first move, it is also okay to be the person who initiates the conversation or asks the guy out. This is particularly important when you’re handling a shy guy. Not all guys are willing to put themselves out there and make the first move and sometimes they may need a little push. If you really want to hang out with someone and you truly like them, then you should be able to ask. Now here are a few stories of my experiences with Brad.   

 

Story 1: “Sup”

As mentioned earlier, I became aware that Brad always sent “sup” when he had nothing else to do and was free to hang. So I wanted to turn the tables on him and let him know when I was free instead of waiting around for when he was open. Brad is a little shy so I sent him a typical selfie (obviously following the steps from my article) and added the caption “sup.” I sent this snapchat in order to empower women everywhere. No longer do the men have to make the first move, but instead it is okay for a strong, independent woman to be the one to make the first move. It can even be as simple as just the word “sup”.

 

Story 2: When he hints and ONLY hints

    So like I said, Brad is kind of shy. He may sometimes work up the courage to snap first and say “sup” but most of the time he cannot keep the conversation going. That is why sometimes when making the first move you have to put in a little more effort and put yourself out there. One night Brad sent his usual “sup.” I wasn’t doing anything that night so responded honestly, “nothing much” which prompted him to respond with “same.” It was obvious that he was hinting that he wasn’t doing anything, but he was too nervous to actually ask me to hang out. So I decided to take the risk and make the first move and ask “Wanna hang?” This ended up working out and he was much more responsive in his texts and we had a chill time.

 

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Hi! I'm a sophomore at Bentley and majoring in IDCC with a minor in Gender Studies. I love dogs and chocolate.