Approximately 50 percent of all marriages will end in divorce. Nowadays, social media makes it easy for individuals to find other partners. Therefore, it can be more challenging to maintain relationships as people become more disposable on dating apps. The “ideal” relationship that we see on television involves someone finding that “one true love” and having a perfect happily-ever-after. This standard that we follow is, most of the time, unrealistic. What the media fails to tell us is that relationships take patience, effort, and communication. So many marriages fail because people give up, before trying to resolve their problems.
Of course, most of us at Bentley are not married, but a handful of us are either looking to be in a relationship or are in one. The majority of us have friendships and want to maintain them or want to keep positive relations with our coworkers at our jobs. Conflict resolution is crucial to maintaining any relationship, and I found that these four strategic steps will help resolve any problem you face with another person or group.
Build a Foundation
Who you surround yourself with ultimately affects your traits and behavior. Therefore, it is up to you to find people that carry the characteristics you want to have. A best friend should lift you up, make you happy, and push you to be the best version of yourself. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should also be your best friend. You are spending weeks, months, and years with each other, making memories, and essentially sharing your lives. It can be easy to be infatuated with somebody and jump blindly into a commitment. However, it is better to take the time to discern someone’s personality before deciding if you want to pursue a romantic relationship. Once you have decided you want to take the relationship to the next step, that foundation you’ve built makes it easier to overcome obstacles. The same concept can go for just making a friend. You can become friendly with someone in your class, but then you must decide if you want to stay around after getting a feel for the kind of person they are.
Confront and Communicate
Being confrontational can be as simple as sharing how good you felt at the gym or how one professor made you feel stressed about an assignment. However, in any situation, it is crucial to express why the specific event or experience affected your emotions. Being comfortable expressing your feelings over more minor things makes it easier to address any issues that arise in your relationship. Learning to focus on how and why the actions or words of the other person has made you feel helps to properly resolve problems. This way, you are constantly communicating, which prevents the issues that would form without consistent communication.
Listen
There is a massive difference between hearing someone and listening to someone. You can listen to someone talk all day and not consider any piece of information they are telling you. Listening, on the other hand, requires patience and understanding. Since you already have expressed your concerns and told them your side of the story, it is time to put yourself in their shoes and give them time to explain their feelings. Trust that they are honest, regardless of possible hardships you might have gone through in the past.
Meet in the Middle
Step four is the hardest because most people who fail to come to a middle ground argue with their hearts instead of their brains. As disheartening as it may be, your emotions dictate what you say and do, so control them! In other words, you are trying to solve the problem, not make matters worse. All relationships require that you have to give some to get some in return, so try to compromise or suggest alternative ideas to solve the problem.