How to Know if They are “The One”

It is so difficult to get into a relationship nowadays because of modern technology. The majority of the time, we communicate over social media and spend a lot less time speaking face to face. In the first few weeks of getting to know a person you are interested in, it can be hard to tell if the feelings are mutual over a text message. We can't see facial reactions or understand body language, so how are we supposed to know? Based on my past experiences, I compiled some questions that might help people backtrack and reflect on their current situation. Hopefully, these questions will guide those who are struggling to come to a conclusion about how someone is feeling towards them and where they think they stand emotionally. 

 

Do they Use Emojis? 

If they are intentionally using a blush face emoji or a lot of red heart emojis at the end of their texts, that can indicate they are flirting with you. Flirting is not limited; it can manifest in many ways because everyone speaks a different love language. Flirting is a significant determinant for knowing if the person wants to take the relationship to the next level. 

 

What Platforms are they Using to Talk to You? 

Pay attention to what social media platforms they reach out to you on because each platform is used to communicate in different ways. If they are staying engaged with you on your socials, such as liking and commenting on your pictures, that is a great sign. Snapchat texting is short term because most messages do not get saved unless you manually save them yourself. You are also limited to a character count when you send pictures. Now that does not necessarily mean they automatically like you or do not like you based on where they are talking to you, but it is important to be aware of what their intentions are because a person you like that asks for your number can be a really good sign!

 

If the person asks you to FaceTime often, that is also a bonus. We are all very busy college students, and for the person to want to schedule time out of their day to call you and prefer talking to you while they look at you shows that they are attracted to you.

 

What Plans are they Making with You? 

If the person is only texting you at night asking you to hang out and watch a movie, do you really want to “Netflix and chill” if you are looking to be serious? Clearly, in this situation, they do not want to be serious, which is a good way to know where they stand in life and with you. However, if they ask you to get lunch at Currito or pass a ball on the football field, that shows they want to take you out. Also, if they are integrating their friends and family into the plans that they make with you, that tells you they want to show you off to the world. Meeting their friends and family shows you they are sharing a piece of their personal lives, which is a big step that they trust you enough to be vulnerable.  

 

If they consistently speak in the future tense, that means they do not just think in the “now.” For example, if they say, “I had a fun time with you today, we should check out Harvard Square next weekend because I have never gone,” they see a future with you in some form and want to share new experiences and create memories with you.  

 

How Consistent are They?

If you are unsure if the person likes you, then they most likely do not like you. The person you are attracted to can be showing all of these signs that I mentioned; texting you, flirting with you, and asking to hang out, but if they are not consistent with those signs, it is likely they are not in the same place as you. Their emotions can vary in that they may not want to be in a committed relationship, or they are in it for their own satisfaction only. 

 

Ask yourself these questions. Are they carrying on the conversation, and are they taking an interest in your life? If they are asking how certain events in your day went, that can mean they genuinely want to know more about you. Do they text you first? If they are messaging you in the morning, it can mean you are one of the first things that they think about when they wake up. Are they asking to see you? Not just a one-time thing, but consecutively? Consistency is a big giveaway that a person is stable and ready to delve deep into a relationship.