Q: Should guys always ask the girl out first, or is it ok for a girl to ask a guy out?
A: This is not the 1950s, and there is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. In fact, most guys would LOVE for girls to take the initiative more often. It would take pressure off us to know we don’t have to always be responsible for making the first move, and it could reduce our anxiety when courting you. It can be extremely nerve-racking for a guy to try to anticipate whether or not a girl will reject him, and most guys aren’t very skilled at decoding the flood of signals girls throw our way. This causes many guys to second guess themselves out of confusion and fear of rejection. Asking a guy out is a clear signal that you’re attracted to him, and most guys, being the inept observers that we are, can be in desperate need of clear romantic signals.
The only admonition I’ll provide is that you probably don’t want to seem excessively assertive or promiscuous. Attempting to control every aspect of a date or acting extremely bold – sexually or otherwise – may be off-putting or intimidating to some guys, and may only attract men with rather limited (see ‘lewd’) desires. It’s usually best to remain modest, yet explicit, in your advances, as I’m sure most girls would want and expect from their guys.
Q: How can I get my guy’s friends to like me?
A: Ingratiating yourself with your guy’s friends may seem intimidating at first, but it really needn’t cause you much worry. Sure, bros can be protective of their friends – just as your friends can be protective of you – and it may take more than five minutes of eating Doritos and watching football to win his friends over, but if you’re patient and let them get to know you then they will see the same qualities in you that their friend saw in the first place.
That being said, there are some general behaviors you should either adopt or avoid if you want to enter the good graces of your guy’s friends. First, it can be helpful to take an interest in their passions. Admittedly, this may be easier said than done, especially when they only seem passionate about chicken wings, cars, and the female anatomy; however, just being respectful of their hobbies can go a long way towards giving them a favorable impression. Second, never do anything to make them think you’re trying to change their friend or steal him away from them. Nothing can sour their attitudes toward you faster than monopolizing your boyfriend’s time or controlling his every move, so you should allow and encourage him to spend time with his friends, even if he never wants to leave your side.
Finally, the best way to make your guy’s friends like you is to just make your guy happy. Real friends will want to see their buddy enjoying life, and if they see you putting a smile on his face then it won’t take them long to welcome you with open arms. Be warned, however, that once you’re “in” with the guys you could be exposed to the many peculiarities of manhood. The only advice I can give is to follow their lead: cheer when they cheer, laugh when they laugh, and if something looks as though it hasn’t been cleaned in six months, it probably hasn’t.