Before anyone has a conniption, let’s all remember this is satire. A little fun, MYSTERIOUS(!!!) satire never hurt anybody.
Over the years here at Bentley, rumors have been spreading like wildfire. Who could resist good gossip at such a small school?
Let’s reflect on some of Bentley’s biggest myths.
1. E.Coli Outbreak
Over the years, there have been numerous reports by students that they have gotten E.Coli from eating at Seasons (the old 921). The grilled chicken and salad bar seem to be the most oft-cited culprits. Have these students really contracted the bacteria, or did they just have a stomach virus? Nervous about exams? We may never know. Best stick to bagels and soft serve. (As if you weren’t already.)
2. Prostitutes on Campus
Rumors circled the Bentley campus over five years ago when a student allegedly hired a “worker” to come to his dorm room on lower. The story further escalated to the her allegedly stabbing the student after the student did not have enough money to pay for services. (Not very #prepared) The hooker also supposedly obtained a temporary parking permit for the night (so responsible!)– but the car was towed the next morning when the permit expired, as the woman was a little too busy with law enforcement to move it. You can be the judge: myth or fact?
3. Smith Evacuation
During Boston’s coldest week in years, chaos swept through campus. The oddest story was the sudden mass evacuation of Smith, which Bentley has yet to explain to students. Just before a class period was ending, Smith’s emergency system was activated, but no fire alarm sounded. Instead, a voice from the system informed everyone to evacuate the building immediately. So, why did this occur? Any ideas? Was there a gas leak or carbon monoxide present? A drill executed by an overly bored professor? Questions that, as of now, have no answers.
(Update 2/22/16: Another Smith evacuation occurred around 2 PM… and still no explanation.)
4. Bursting Pipes
Again, madness erupted during the coldest days that Boston has experienced in years. Pipes burst in both North Campus dorms and in Collins Hall. North Campus residents were evacuated to a local hotel for over a week, and this information was relayed to the entire Bentley community via e-mail. The same thing happened one evening in Collins at 3 AM; pipes burst and some floors became flooded. Students were not given information about what was occurring and were kept out of their rooms until 8 AM (a full 5 hours later). With Trees being the lastest culprit last night, we can’t help but head to bed tonight with rain boots on.
5. The Mailroom
I’m sure you’ve all been to or heard of the mailroom– it’s located across from Dunkin’ in the basement of Collins. It’s where packages sometimes come to die (by hiding or disappearing). There have been numerous reports of students receiving e-mails about packages that are not actually there, or receiving packages that do not belong to them. Claims have also been made that FedEx, USPS or UPS have delivered packages to Bentley, but students never receive corresponding e-mails and are told that their packages are not there. What really occurs behind the scenes? What if you can never get those cookies your grandma sent you because the package goes missing?
Heard of any other Bentley myths or rumors and care to share? Tell us at @HCBentley on twitter!
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