Recently, I’ve lovingly embraced the term “SWUG,” over utilizing high school sweatpants and saggy leggings shamelessly for multiple days in a row. On campus. In public. In a mod party. To Cleveland Circle. You name it. However, I was sorely surprised in the far too recent past when my “forgiving” jeans were a tad snug. When the initial shock resided, I really wasn’t that surprised. I began to think back to the reasons why my jeans were so tight. I personally feel that they’re all legit.
Because of these valid reasons for treadmill aversion:
Because “Hoarders” wasn’t on when I wanted to workout.
Because the back treadmills were all full.
Because the one in the back that was open is right in front of the fan and I hate the fly-away’s that get in my face.
Because of the classic excuse of “I walked into the plex and thought I saw I guy I liked so I went to turn around and leave but then it wasn’t him but I had already committed to leaving so I just had to roll with it….”
Because of these absolutely acceptable food/drink rationales:
Because wine goes really well with wine.
Because Thin Mints exist in our world (see related: Frozen Thin Mints.)
Also, because eating Girl Scout Cookies is basically like donating to the greater good.
Because eating 13 mozzarella sticks at late night is ~scientifically proven~ to help hangovers.
Because I support small business establishments, such as Cityside and Roggie’s.
And Mary Ann’s, I guess.
And finally, because Dominos’ doesn’t make large pizzas for sharing. Obviously.
After my jean debacle, I realized that I wouldn’t take back any of the reasons for my newly founded muffin-top. Because, ultimately, muffins are delicious. And because taking the Million Dollar Stairs is unethical; we have elevators because this is the 21st century, dammit. AND because wine you enjoy wasting while getting wasted isn’t wasted wine.
Tight jeans=living life. So, whatever. I have another pair of leggings I can wear.
Photo Source:
http://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/treadmill-fail-gifs
http://www.buzzfeed.com/amandaq6/when-drunk-eating-is-the-best-part-of-your-night-dcqy#.njpAMgneL