Disclaimer: Please read with caution. This article is meant to be a funny satire. The opinions expressed in this article do not reflect the authors’ or Her Campus BC’s feelings towards or positions on any of the topics–particularly those who indulge in mozzarella sticks–covered below. Thank you for your understanding.
There are two types of students at BC, those who live for the grease and comradery of Late Night and those who need to go to St. Ignatius at the conclusion of reading this article. Late Night is what puts the “Live” in “Lower Live” and is the only party at BC where it does not matter what your gender or grade is, for the doors are open to all–until the cops kick everyone out at 2 AM. In the spirit of our Jesuit institution, let us take time to reflect on how we most certainly are what we eat. So please exit out of your Cosmo Snapchat horoscope and take the all of 0.2 seconds to determine what your late night order is.
If your go to is…
Chicken tenders:
Similar to your choice meal, you have a hard outer shell. However, once broken into, you reveal something beautiful. Make this a transformative week so others can see this side of you! Get off your phone while walking to class and instead flaunt your smile to your fellow Eagles! Stay away from other chicken tender eaters, since you never know which ones in a batch are hollow. And worst of all, they will eat your last chicken tender 100% of the time.
Pizza:
You know what you want…which is everything. It takes brains to choose this power food packed with your daily dose of calcium, vegetables, and carbs. Make time to share this wisdom with others! Especially since love is in the air for pizza indulgers. Remember the only thing better than a personal pizza is sharing an even larger pizza with someone else.
Buffalo Chicken Sandwich:
This week is the time for you to step up as a mentor. Surround yourself with any/all freshmen girls in sight for no good deed goes unrewarded. This will be needed as your immediate future comprises of a negative meal plan (since someone thinks it is a good idea to pay $15 for a loaf of bread with a baby chicken nugget on it). Don’t let Mac’s playlist be the only blast from the past, spice it up and opt for Late Night at the lovely McElroy or Stuart.
French Fries:
Simple yet tasteful. Just as it is never too late to add excessive amounts of chipotle mayo to your meal, you can still add more activities to your plate. Sparks will fly between you and a chicken tender companion as you realize what a great combo you two are. Don’t let chipotle mayo be the only spicy thing in your life, invite them on a walk down Linden Lane or a date to the oh-so-intimate second floor of Lower Live, if you dare.
Mozz Sticks:
Warning: Mozz sticks may be needed for comfort upon reading this. You have a tendency to be more basic than a BC male sporting Vineyard Vines and/or salmon shorts. Switch out those metaphoric salmon shorts for a delicate periwinkle and embrace it! Take the time to treat yo self and enjoy some me time! You can kick this me time off by exclusively eating your mozz sticks in the comfort of your dorm room to conceal your basicness from the public.
Fruit/Anything that could be deemed relatively nutritious/Anything that doesn’t leave a grease stain the size of Lake Michigan on your plate: Those of you who skipped the lines of Lower to instead indulge in Brighton’s Finest New Hong Kong:
Congratulations! You are clearly killing it! Keep up the good work! Expect to be at thetop of you class and get offered your dream job within the week. And most importantly go treat yourself to some more New Hong Kong.
Photo Sources:http://finedininglovers.cdn.crosscast-system.com/BlogPost/xl_3793_orosco…