Note: This piece is meant to be satirical.
I’ll be honest: it’s not ideal. Don’t get me wrong. I love Vanderslice Hall, commonly known as “Vandy” for short, but I’ve already lived here for a year. Long story short, housing didn’t exactly play out exactly as planned (thanks, ResLife) and now my newly established 8-man will be doing round 2 in Vandy as juniors. Disappointed? Slightly. Optimistic? Absolutely.
Living in Vandy as a junior is going to be so much better than living in it as a sophomore. For one thing, my suitemates and I will know everything about Vandy: like avoiding the gross smelling stairwells after the weekend or the best lounge to do work at on the 6th floor. By round 2, we will have it down. While the sophomores are wandering the hallways trying to find the pregame on the 3rd floor, my roommates and I will already have been there for an hour. Perks of being a junior.
Another game changer for next year: the location of our suite. This year, we’re on the second floor. Not ideal, simply because sometimes all I want to do is take the elevator and not get dirty looks every time (!!!). Call us lazy, but it gets annoying. Nobody was thinking when they placed the stairs in Vandy as far away and as inconvenient as possible. Next year I can take the elevator up and down from the 1st to the 5th floor without a single side-glance, muffled cough, or dirty stare. Life will be so good.
But the most important, most amazing, most incredible aspect of living in Vandy as a junior will definitely be the fact that I will turn 21 right in time for spring semester. This is huge. I can’t wait to stroll into Vandy with a 30 pack of Natty Light under my arm, feeling pretty much like the best thing ever, while a bunch of sophomores stare at me with open mouths in awe. They will be hiding their fluorescently colored liquid in water bottles (as if no one knows what’s in there…) while I drink openly like the happy, legal junior that I am. I cannot wait for Vandy round 2.
All joking aside, I’m excited to be living on Lower again, with some great roommates and in a great dorm. Vandy has become my home as a sophomore and I cannot wait to move into another suite in it and make it my home all over again. I’m also excited to share Vandy with incoming suites of sophomores who I hope will enjoy and love Vandy as much as I do. So Vanderslice Hall, Round 2 is happening. True Life: I’m living in Vandy as Junior.