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The Snatcher in the Rye: Boy Problems Part I

Have you ever talked to a guy and just though to yourself, “Wow…he’s dumb.” Okay, maybe dumb isn’t the right word. No matter how bright or intelligent a guy may be, he’s still a guy and there are some things they will just never understand. Hopefully our experiences are as cathartic for you to read as they were for us to write.

Every girl knows them, every boy doesn’t. While boys continually deny the existence of these predators, they are definitely not an endangered species. Not sure what we are talking about? Maybe you’ll recognize them by their more common description: the girl who wants to snatch your boyfriend. Below is implicit evidence of their existence.

The following is based on true events.

Situation: When another girl asks your boyfriend to prom

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl texts your boyfriend more than you do

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl refers to your boyfriend as her “hubby”

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl massages your boyfriend

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl posts more photos with your boyfriend than you do

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl compliments your boyfriend’s bod on social media

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl wraps her arms around your boyfriend as if they are newlyweds

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl asks your boyfriend to watch a scary movie with her…alone

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl bakes your boyfriend cookies “just because”

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl’s profile picture is of her and your boyfriend

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

Situation: When another girl #ManCrushMonday’s your boyfriend

Boyfriend’s response: “Oh don’t worry, she’s not into me.”

 

So if you’re one of those girls trying to steal our boyfriends, there are just two things you need to remember:

1.      He’s taken

2.    

 

 

Sources:

http://www.filfre.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/deadlinefolio-folder.jpg

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/55039449.jpg

http://www.collegemagazine.com/files/image/the-third-wheel.jpg

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